The Dodge Club; Or, Italy in MDCCCLIX — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Dodge Club; Or, Italy in MDCCCLIX
John Stuart Mill · en
A bevy of masked beauties were attracted by the colossal form of the
Senator. To say that he was bewildered would express his sensations
but faintly. He was distracted. He looked for Buttons. Buttons was
chatting with a little domino. He turned to Dick. Dick was walking off
with a rhinoceros. To Figgs and the Doctor. Figgs and the Doctor were
exchanging glances with a couple of lady codfishes and trying to look
amiable. The Senator gave a sickly smile.
"What'n thunder'll I do?" he muttered.
Two dominos took either arm. A third stood smilingly before him. A
fourth tried to appropriate his left hand.
"Will your Excellency dance with one of us at a time," said No. 4,
with a Tuscan accent, "or will you dance with all of us at once?"
The Senator looked helplessly at her.
"He does not know how," said No 1. "He has passed his life among the
stars."
"Begone, irreverent ones!" said No. 3. "This is an American prince.
He said I should be his partner."
"Boh! malidetta!" cried No. 2. "He told me the same; but he said he
was a Milor Inglese."
No. 4 thereupon gave a smart pull at the Senator's hand to draw him
off. Whereupon No. 2 did the same. No. 3 began singing "Come e bello!"
and No. 1 stood coaxing him to "Fly with her." A crowd of idlers
gathered grinningly around.
"My goodness!" groaned the Senator. "Me! The--the representative of a
respectable constituency; the elder of a Presbyterian church; the
president of a temperance society; the deliverer of that famous Fourth
of July oration; the father of a family--me! to be treated thus! Who
air these females? Air they countesses? Is this the way the foreign
nobility treat an American citizen?"
But the ladies pulled and the crowd grinned. The Senator endeavored to
remonstrate. Then he tried to pull his arms away; but finding that
impossible he looked in a piteous manner, first at one, and then at
the other.
[Illustration: Exit Senator.]
"He wants, I tell you, to be my partner," said No. 1.
"Bah!" cried No. 2, derisively; "he intends to be mine. I understand
the national dance of his country--the famous jeeg Irelandese."
"MRS.!!!"
The Senator shouted this one word in a stentorian voice. The ladies
dropped his arms and started.
"I say, Mrs.!" cried the Senator. "Look here. Me no speeky
_I_talian--me American. Me come just see zee fun, you know--zee
spaort--you und-stand? Ha? Hum!"
The ladies clapped their hands, and cried "Bravo!"
Quite a crowd gathered around them. The Senator, impressed with the
idea that, to make foreigners understand, it was only necessary to
yell loud enough, bawled so loudly that ever so many dancers stopped.
Among these Buttons came near with the little Domino. Little Domino
stopped, laughed, clapped her hands, and pointed to the Senator.