I refused to leave. I leaped and frisked around the old man’s legs
happy as a pug on a rug.
“You old flea-headed woodchuck-chaser,” I said to him—“you moon-baying,
rabbit-pointing, egg-stealing old beagle, can’t you see that I don’t
want to leave you? Can’t you see that we’re both Pups in the Wood and
the missis is the cruel uncle after you with the dish towel and me with
the flea liniment and a pink bow to tie on my tail. Why not cut that
all out and be pards forever more?”
Maybe you’ll say he didn’t understand—maybe he didn’t. But he kind of
got a grip on the Hot Scotches, and stood still for a minute, thinking.
“Doggie,” says he, finally, “we don’t live more than a dozen lives on
this earth, and very few of us live to be more than 300. If I ever see
that flat any more I’m a flat, and if you do you’re flatter; and that’s
no flattery. I’m offering 60 to 1 that Westward Ho wins out by the
length of a dachshund.”
There was no string, but I frolicked along with my master to the
Twenty-third street ferry. And the cats on the route saw reason to give
thanks that prehensile claws had been given them.
On the Jersey side my master said to a stranger who stood eating a
currant bun:
“Me and my doggie, we are bound for the Rocky Mountains.”
But what pleased me most was when my old man pulled both of my ears
until I howled, and said:
“You common, monkey-headed, rat-tailed, sulphur-coloured son of a door
mat, do you know what I’m going to call you?”
I thought of “Lovey,” and I whined dolefully.
“I’m going to call you ‘Pete,’” says my master; and if I’d had five
tails I couldn’t have done enough wagging to do justice to the
occasion.
THE LOVE-PHILTRE OF IKEY SCHOENSTEIN
The Blue Light Drug Store is downtown, between the Bowery and First
Avenue, where the distance between the two streets is the shortest. The
Blue Light does not consider that pharmacy is a thing of bric-a-brac,
scent and ice-cream soda. If you ask it for pain-killer it will not
give you a bonbon.
The Blue Light scorns the labour-saving arts of modern pharmacy. It
macerates its opium and percolates its own laudanum and paregoric. To
this day pills are made behind its tall prescription desk—pills rolled
out on its own pill-tile, divided with a spatula, rolled with the
finger and thumb, dusted with calcined magnesia and delivered in little
round pasteboard pill-boxes. The store is on a corner about which
coveys of ragged-plumed, hilarious children play and become candidates
for the cough drops and soothing syrups that wait for them inside.