The Green Millennium — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Green Millennium
John Stuart Mill · en
But now, as he stood leaning out just a little, his cropped hair
brushing the tarnished circular rim, it seemed to him that he could
imagine his way through that wall as if it were made of some material
that conducted emotion as copper conducts electricity. Not see or
think through it, but _feel_ through it to the multiple texture of
warm, pitiful, admirable, ridiculous human lives in the cubicles
behind: the two-fifths happy ones, the nine-tenths sad ones, the ones
who nursed fears and frustrations because you had to nurse something,
the ones who hammered fears and frustrations into a painful armor,
the old man apprehensively sorting his limp ration stamps from three
communo-capitalist wars, the boy playing spaceship and pretending the
blacked-out window was the porthole of a comic-book intergalactic
liner, the three unemployed secretaries--one of them pacing--the lovers
whose rendezvous was tainted with worries about the Federal Bureau
of Morality, the fat man feeling a girl's caress by radio handie and
thinking of something long ago, the old woman coddling her dread of
war-germs and atomic ashes by constantly dusting, dusting, dusting....
Well, his new self certainly had a vivid imagination, Phil decided with
a smile.
An old hand came out of a porthole three floors down and shook
something--or nothing--from a dustpan.
Coincidence, of course, or else he'd once watched the woman without
thinking about it--nevertheless, Phil chose to interpret the event as
an encouraging confirmation of his new feeling of outgoingness. Then
the smile left his lips as he thought of another aspect of the opposite
wall.
This window was the vantage point where he had spent countless drearily
excited hours spying on the activities of all the young women whose
cubicles were even remotely within range. Not the new girl--the one who
wore her black hair in old-fashioned pony style--in the room straight
across, although she was quite beautiful in a sprightly, animal way,
and he sometimes heard her practicing tap-dancing. No, she was a bit
too close and besides, he was vaguely frightened of her. There was
something eerily dryad-like about her and, in any case, she blacked out
her porthole religiously. It was blacked out now, though slightly ajar.