The man she hated : $b or, Won by strategy — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The man she hated : $b or, Won by strategy
John Stuart Mill · en
“Darling, you never had but one rival. She was the little working girl
of whom I spoke. I first saw her on the eve of my departure for Europe,
more than two years ago, and as time wore on the strange interest
she had awakened in me by her beauty and sweetness kept growing so
that in a few months I returned to New York to search for her, with
some half-defined intentions of putting aside my pride of class, and
educating and marrying her if she proved worthy. But the affair went
no further; I did not find her. She had married a man by the name of
Loring--by the way, I never knew her name--and gone away.”
CHAPTER XXI.
PLANS FOR THE FUTURE.
Fair hid her sweet face against her lover’s shoulder, that he might
not see and wonder at the mingled joy and sorrow in her expressive
eyes--joy that he had loved her, sorrow that through her haste in
wedding a miserable impostor she had missed the opportunity of her life.
“Oh, if only I had been true to myself, if I had sent that wretch away
and waited, I might have been the happiest of the happy now,” she
thought, forgetting, in her keen self-reproach, that her mother had
been even more to blame than herself, and that the misguided woman
would not have permitted her to throw away what she deemed a golden
opportunity.
For a moment, in the sudden courage imparted to her by Bayard
Lorraine’s frank confession of the interest he had taken in the poor
little working girl, she was half tempted to throw off her mask and
confess all.
It were better for her had she done so, but she hesitated, faltered,
and lost that golden opportunity for winning his pity and forgiveness.
“I will tell him to-morrow. In this happy hour I cannot do it,” she
decided, for she could not bear to throw a shadow on his happy, loving
mood.
For as yet Bayard Lorraine did not even know that she was the adopted
child of Mrs. Howard. Although the Howards and Lorraines were distantly
related, there had been no intimacy between them. Bayard had been
abroad when Azalia Howard died, and no murmur of her death had reached
him. He did not remember ever having seen his young relative, or
hearing her name, until he met her with her mother abroad.
But Fair knew quite well that when Bayard Lorraine came to ask her hand
from her adopted mother, Mrs. Howard would tell him the truth. She was
a noble, conscientious woman. She would not deceive Fair’s suitor, but
would say frankly: