The mill of silence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The mill of silence
John Stuart Mill · en
CHAPTER I.
THE INMATES OF THE MILL.
My story begins like a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a miller
who had three sons. Here, however, the resemblance ceases. At this
late date I, the last stricken inmate of the Mill of Silence, set it
down for a warning and a menace; not entirely in despair, perhaps, but
with a fitful flickering of hope that at the last moment my soul may
be rent from me into a light it has never yet foreseen.
We were three brothers, sons of a gray, old man, whose father, and his
father before him, had owned and run a flour mill in the ancient city
of Winton in Hampshire. This mill stood a little back from the north
side of the east and more deserted end of the High street, and faced a
little bridge--wooden in those days, but stone now--through which
raced the first of the mill fall that came thundering out from under
the old timber building, as though it had burst at a push some ancient
dam and were hurrying off to make up for lost ages of restraint. The
house, a broad single red-tiled gable, as seen from the bridge, stood
crushed in between other buildings, and in all my memory of it was a
crazy affair in appearance and ever in two minds about slipping into
the boisterous water below and so flushing all that quarter of the
town with an overflow, as it were, of its own ancient dropsy. It was
built right across the stream, with the mill wheel buried in its
heart; and I can recall a certain childish speculation as to the
results which would follow a possible relaxing of the house pressure
on either side; in which case I hopefully assumed the wheel would slip
out of its socket, and, carrying the frail bridge before it, roll
cheerfully down stream on its own axle to the huge delight of all
adventurous spirits.
Our reputation in Winton was not, I am sorry to say, good. There was a
whispered legend of uncanniness about the mill itself, which might
mean little or nothing, and a notoriety with regard to its inmates
which did mean a good deal. The truth is, not to mince matters, that
my father was a terrible drunkard, and that his three sons--not the
eldest of whom retained more than a shadowy remembrance of a
long-departed mother’s influence--were from early years fostered in an
atmosphere that reeked with that one form of moral depravity. A quite
youthful recollection of mine is the sight of my father, thin, bent,
gray bearded, and with a fierce, not uncomely face, jerking himself to
sudden stoppages at points in the High street to apostrophize with
menacing fury the devils born of his disease.