The mill of silence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The mill of silence
John Stuart Mill · en
She faced round upon me, breathing quickly, and put one hand to her
bosom in a startled manner that was quite foreign to her.
“Renny,” she whispered, with a fading smile on her white face--pitiful
heaven, how white and worn it had become! And burst into tears the
next moment.
Shocked beyond measure at her appearance, her woeful reception of me,
I stepped back all amazed. She mistook my action and held out an
imploring arm to me. The little weird girl at her side half buried
herself in her mother’s skirts and peered up at me with deep eyes set
in a tangle of hair.
“Renny!” cried Zyp; “oh, you won’t throw me off? You won’t refuse to
hear me?”
“Come away,” I said, hoarsely; “to some quiet road, where we can talk
undisturbed. You are not too tired?”
“Too--oh, I’m wearied to death. Why not the mill? Renny, why not the
mill?”
“Zyp, not now--not at present. I’ll tell you by and by. See, I’ll take
the little girl on one arm and you can cling to the other.”
She pushed the child forward with a forlorn sigh. It whimpered a
little as I lifted it, but I held it snug against my shoulder, and its
soft breath on my cheeks seemed to melt the hard core of agony in my
brain.
Soon I had them in a quiet spot and seated upon a fallen log. There,
holding the child against me, I looked in the eyes of the mother and
could have wept.
“Zyp, Zyp! What is it?”
A boisterous clap of wind tumbled her dark hair as I spoke. What was
it? Her lustrous head was strewed with ashy threads, as if the
clipping fate had trimmed some broken skein of life over it; her eyes
were like fathomless pools shrunk with drought; an impenetrable sorrow
was figured in her wasted face. This was the shadow of Zyp--not the
sweet substance--and moving among ghosts and shadows my own life
seemed stumbling toward the grave.
CHAPTER LVII.
A PROMISE.
Clasping thin, nervous fingers, Zyp looked up in my face fearfully.
“Have you seen Jason?”
“No. Has he come, too?”
“He’s gone on before to the mill to seek you.”
“God help him! I’ve been out all day. Is it the old trouble, Zyp?”
“Oh, Renny, I despair at last! I fought it while I was strong; but
now--now.”
Her head sunk and she pressed a hand to her bosom again.
“What ails you, dear? Zyp, are you ill?”
“I don’t know. Something seems to suck at my veins. I have nothing
definite. The wretchedness of life is sapping my strength, I suppose.”
“Is it still so wretched? I am always here to give you what help I
can.”
“Oh, I know! And we must always be cursing your quiet with our
entreaties.”
“Zyp, you needn’t talk like that. My heart is open to my little
sister. And is this my bonny niece?”
She was a slender mite of four or thereabouts, with a delicate thin
face, oval like a blushing rose petal, and a quaint, solemn manner of
movement and broken speech.
“Give me a kiss, mouse. Oh, what a prim little peck!”
A faint smile came to the mother’s lips. “You’ll learn to love your
uncle, Renna.”
“Did you name her after me?”