Yet, strange to say, under this vigorous treatment Tom became more like
a girl than he had ever been in his life before. He had a large share
of pride, which had hitherto found itself very comfortable in the
world, despising Old Goggles, and reposing in the sense of unquestioned
rights; but now this same pride met with nothing but bruises and
crushings. Tom was too clear-sighted not to be aware that Mr Stelling’s
standard of things was quite different, was certainly something higher
in the eyes of the world than that of the people he had been living
amongst, and that, brought in contact with it, he, Tom Tulliver,
appeared uncouth and stupid; he was by no means indifferent to this,
and his pride got into an uneasy condition which quite nullified his
boyish self-satisfaction, and gave him something of the girl’s
susceptibility. He was of a very firm, not to say obstinate, disposition,
but there was no brute-like rebellion and recklessness in his nature;
the human sensibilities predominated, and if it had occurred to him
that he could enable himself to show some quickness at his lessons, and
so acquire Mr Stelling’s approbation, by standing on one leg for an
inconvenient length of time, or rapping his head moderately against the
wall, or any voluntary action of that sort, he would certainly have
tried it. But no; Tom had never heard that these measures would
brighten the understanding, or strengthen the verbal memory; and he was
not given to hypothesis and experiment. It did occur to him that he
could perhaps get some help by praying for it; but as the prayers he
said every evening were forms learned by heart, he rather shrank from
the novelty and irregularity of introducing an extempore passage on a
topic of petition for which he was not aware of any precedent. But one
day, when he had broken down, for the fifth time, in the supines of the
third conjugation, and Mr Stelling, convinced that this must be
carelessness, since it transcended the bounds of possible stupidity,
had lectured him very seriously, pointing out that if he failed to
seize the present golden opportunity of learning supines, he would have
to regret it when he became a man,—Tom, more miserable than usual,
determined to try his sole resource; and that evening, after his usual
form of prayer for his parents and “little sister” (he had begun to
pray for Maggie when she was a baby), and that he might be able always
to keep God’s commandments, he added, in the same low whisper, “and
please to make me always remember my Latin.” He paused a little to
consider how he should pray about Euclid—whether he should ask to see
what it meant, or whether there was any other mental state which would
be more applicable to the case. But at last he added: “And make Mr
Stelling say I sha’n’t do Euclid any more. Amen.”