Poor Tom formed no visions of the distant future as he made his way
homeward; he only felt that the present was very hard. It seemed a
wrong toward him that his uncle Deane had no confidence in him,—did not
see at once that he should acquit himself well, which Tom himself was
as certain of as of the daylight. Apparently he, Tom Tulliver, was
likely to be held of small account in the world; and for the first time
he felt a sinking of heart under the sense that he really was very
ignorant, and could do very little. Who was that enviable young man
that could tell the cubic contents of things in no time, and make
suggestions about Swedish bark! Tom had been used to be so entirely
satisfied with himself, in spite of his breaking down in a
demonstration, and construing _nunc illas promite vires_ as “now
promise those men”; but now he suddenly felt at a disadvantage, because
he knew less than some one else knew. There must be a world of things
connected with that Swedish bark, which, if he only knew them, might
have helped him to get on. It would have been much easier to make a
figure with a spirited horse and a new saddle.
Two hours ago, as Tom was walking to St Ogg’s, he saw the distant
future before him as he might have seen a tempting stretch of smooth
sandy beach beyond a belt of flinty shingles; he was on the grassy bank
then, and thought the shingles might soon be passed. But now his feet
were on the sharp stones; the belt of shingles had widened, and the
stretch of sand had dwindled into narrowness.
“What did my Uncle Deane say, Tom?” said Maggie, putting her arm
through Tom’s as he was warming himself rather drearily by the kitchen
fire. “Did he say he would give you a situation?”
“No, he didn’t say that. He didn’t quite promise me anything; he seemed
to think I couldn’t have a very good situation. I’m too young.”
“But didn’t he speak kindly, Tom?”
“Kindly? Pooh! what’s the use of talking about that? I wouldn’t care
about his speaking kindly, if I could get a situation. But it’s such a
nuisance and bother; I’ve been at school all this while learning Latin
and things,—not a bit of good to me,—and now my uncle says I must set
about learning book-keeping and calculation, and those things. He seems
to make out I’m good for nothing.”
Tom’s mouth twitched with a bitter expression as he looked at the fire.
“Oh, what a pity we haven’t got Dominie Sampson!” said Maggie, who
couldn’t help mingling some gayety with their sadness. “If he had
taught me book-keeping by double entry and after the Italian method, as
he did Lucy Bertram, I could teach you, Tom.”
“_You_ teach! Yes, I dare say. That’s always the tone you take,” said
Tom.
“Dear Tom, I was only joking,” said Maggie, putting her cheek against
his coat-sleeve.