The Mill on the Floss — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mill on the Floss
John Stuart Mill · en
“But it’s always the same, Maggie,” said Tom, with the little frown he
put on when he was about to be justifiably severe. “You’re always
setting yourself up above me and every one else, and I’ve wanted to
tell you about it several times. You ought not to have spoken as you
did to my uncles and aunts; you should leave it to me to take care of
my mother and you, and not put yourself forward. You think you know
better than any one, but you’re almost always wrong. I can judge much
better than you can.”
Poor Tom! he had just come from being lectured and made to feel his
inferiority; the reaction of his strong, self-asserting nature must
take place somehow; and here was a case in which he could justly show
himself dominant. Maggie’s cheek flushed and her lip quivered with
conflicting resentment and affection, and a certain awe as well as
admiration of Tom’s firmer and more effective character. She did not
answer immediately; very angry words rose to her lips, but they were
driven back again, and she said at last:
“You often think I’m conceited, Tom, when I don’t mean what I say at
all in that way. I don’t mean to put myself above you; I know you
behaved better than I did yesterday. But you are always so harsh to me,
Tom.”
With the last words the resentment was rising again.
“No, I’m not harsh,” said Tom, with severe decision. “I’m always kind
to you, and so I shall be; I shall always take care of you. But you
must mind what I say.”
Their mother came in now, and Maggie rushed away, that her burst of
tears, which she felt must come, might not happen till she was safe
upstairs. They were very bitter tears; everybody in the world seemed so
hard and unkind to Maggie; there was no indulgence, no fondness, such
as she imagined when she fashioned the world afresh in her own
thoughts. In books there were people who were always agreeable or
tender, and delighted to do things that made one happy, and who did not
show their kindness by finding fault. The world outside the books was
not a happy one, Maggie felt; it seemed to be a world where people
behaved the best to those they did not pretend to love, and that did
not belong to them. And if life had no love in it, what else was there
for Maggie? Nothing but poverty and the companionship of her mother’s
narrow griefs, perhaps of her father’s heart-cutting childish
dependence. There is no hopelessness so sad as that of early youth,
when the soul is made up of wants, and has no long memories, no
superadded life in the life of others; though we who looked on think
lightly of such premature despair, as if our vision of the future
lightened the blind sufferer’s present.