The Mill on the Floss — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mill on the Floss
John Stuart Mill · en
“Don’t say so, Maggie,” said Philip. “If I kept that little girl in my
mind for five years, didn’t I earn some part in her? She ought not to
take herself quite away from me.”
“Not if I were free,” said Maggie; “but I am not, I must submit.” She
hesitated a moment, and then added, “And I wanted to say to you, that
you had better not take more notice of my brother than just bowing to
him. He once told me not to speak to you again, and he doesn’t change
his mind—Oh dear, the sun is set. I am too long away. Good-by.” She
gave him her hand once more.
“I shall come here as often as I can till I see you again, Maggie. Have
some feeling for _me_ as well as for others.”
“Yes, yes, I have,” said Maggie, hurrying away, and quickly
disappearing behind the last fir-tree; though Philip’s gaze after her
remained immovable for minutes as if he saw her still.
Maggie went home, with an inward conflict already begun; Philip went
home to do nothing but remember and hope. You can hardly help blaming
him severely. He was four or five years older than Maggie, and had a
full consciousness of his feeling toward her to aid him in foreseeing
the character his contemplated interviews with her would bear in the
opinion of a third person. But you must not suppose that he was capable
of a gross selfishness, or that he could have been satisfied without
persuading himself that he was seeking to infuse some happiness into
Maggie’s life,—seeking this even more than any direct ends for himself.
He could give her sympathy; he could give her help. There was not the
slightest promise of love toward him in her manner; it was nothing more
than the sweet girlish tenderness she had shown him when she was
twelve. Perhaps she would never love him; perhaps no woman ever _could_
love him. Well, then, he would endure that; he should at least have the
happiness of seeing her, of feeling some nearness to her. And he
clutched passionately the possibility that she _might_ love him;
perhaps the feeling would grow, if she could come to associate him with
that watchful tenderness which her nature would be so keenly alive to.
If any woman could love him, surely Maggie was that woman; there was
such wealth of love in her, and there was no one to claim it all. Then,
the pity of it, that a mind like hers should be withering in its very
youth, like a young forest-tree, for want of the light and space it was
formed to flourish in! Could he not hinder that, by persuading her out
of her system of privation? He would be her guardian angel; he would do
anything, bear anything, for her sake—except not seeing her.
Chapter II.
Aunt Glegg Learns the Breadth of Bob’s Thumb