The Mill on the Floss — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mill on the Floss
John Stuart Mill · en
“‘The Pirate,’” she said, taking the book from Philip’s hands. “Oh, I
began that once; I read to where Minna is walking with Cleveland, and I
could never get to read the rest. I went on with it in my own head, and
I made several endings; but they were all unhappy. I could never make a
happy ending out of that beginning. Poor Minna! I wonder what is the
real end. For a long while I couldn’t get my mind away from the
Shetland Isles,—I used to feel the wind blowing on me from the rough
sea.”
Maggie spoke rapidly, with glistening eyes.
“Take that volume home with you, Maggie,” said Philip, watching her
with delight. “I don’t want it now. I shall make a picture of you
instead,—you, among the Scotch firs and the slanting shadows.”
Maggie had not heard a word he had said; she was absorbed in a page at
which she had opened. But suddenly she closed the book, and gave it
back to Philip, shaking her head with a backward movement, as if to say
“avaunt” to floating visions.
“Do keep it, Maggie,” said Philip, entreatingly; “it will give you
pleasure.”
“No, thank you,” said Maggie, putting it aside with her hand and
walking on. “It would make me in love with this world again, as I used
to be; it would make me long to see and know many things; it would make
me long for a full life.”
“But you will not always be shut up in your present lot; why should you
starve your mind in that way? It is narrow asceticism; I don’t like to
see you persisting in it, Maggie. Poetry and art and knowledge are
sacred and pure.”
“But not for me, not for me,” said Maggie, walking more hurriedly;
“because I should want too much. I must wait; this life will not last
long.”
“Don’t hurry away from me without saying ‘good-by,’ Maggie,” said
Philip, as they reached the group of Scotch firs, and she continued
still to walk along without speaking. “I must not go any farther, I
think, must I?”
“Oh no, I forgot; good-by,” said Maggie, pausing, and putting out her
hand to him. The action brought her feeling back in a strong current to
Philip; and after they had stood looking at each other in silence for a
few moments, with their hands clasped, she said, withdrawing her hand:
“I’m very grateful to you for thinking of me all those years. It is
very sweet to have people love us. What a wonderful, beautiful thing it
seems that God should have made your heart so that you could care about
a queer little girl whom you only knew for a few weeks! I remember
saying to you that I thought you cared for me more than Tom did.”
“Ah, Maggie,” said Philip, almost fretfully, “you would never love me
so well as you love your brother.”
“Perhaps not,” said Maggie, simply; “but then, you know, the first
thing I ever remember in my life is standing with Tom by the side of
the Floss, while he held my hand; everything before that is dark to me.
But I shall never forget you, though we must keep apart.”