“Well,” said Tom, with cold scorn, “if your feelings are so much better
than mine, let me see you show them in some other way than by conduct
that’s likely to disgrace us all,—than by ridiculous flights first into
one extreme and then into another. Pray, how have you shown your love,
that you talk of, either to me or my father? By disobeying and
deceiving us. I have a different way of showing my affection.”
“Because you are a man, Tom, and have power, and can do something in
the world.”
“Then, if you can do nothing, submit to those that can.”
“So I _will_ submit to what I acknowledge and feel to be right. I will
submit even to what is unreasonable from my father, but I will not
submit to it from you. You boast of your virtues as if they purchased
you a right to be cruel and unmanly, as you’ve been to-day. Don’t
suppose I would give up Philip Wakem in obedience to you. The deformity
you insult would make me cling to him and care for him the more.”
“Very well; that is your view of things,” said Tom, more coldly than
ever; “you need say no more to show me what a wide distance there is
between us. Let us remember that in future, and be silent.”
Tom went back to St Ogg’s, to fulfill an appointment with his uncle
Deane, and receive directions about a journey on which he was to set
out the next morning.
Maggie went up to her own room to pour out all that indignant
remonstrance, against which Tom’s mind was close barred, in bitter
tears. Then, when the first burst of unsatisfied anger was gone by,
came the recollection of that quiet time before the pleasure which had
ended in to-day’s misery had perturbed the clearness and simplicity of
her life. She used to think in that time that she had made great
conquests, and won a lasting stand on serene heights above worldly
temptations and conflict. And here she was down again in the thick of a
hot strife with her own and others’ passions. Life was not so short,
then, and perfect rest was not so near as she had dreamed when she was
two years younger. There was more struggle for her, and perhaps more
falling. If she had felt that she was entirely wrong, and that Tom had
been entirely right, she could sooner have recovered more inward
harmony; but now her penitence and submission were constantly
obstructed by resentment that would present itself to her no otherwise
than as a just indignation. Her heart bled for Philip; she went on
recalling the insults that had been flung at him with so vivid a
conception of what he had felt under them, that it was almost like a
sharp bodily pain to her, making her beat the floor with her foot and
tighten her fingers on her palm.
And yet, how was it that she was now and then conscious of a certain
dim background of relief in the forced separation from Philip? Surely
it was only because the sense of a deliverance from concealment was
welcome at any cost.
Chapter VI.
The Hard-Won Triumph