There is something strangely winning to most women in that offer of the
firm arm; the help is not wanted physically at that moment, but the
sense of help, the presence of strength that is outside them and yet
theirs, meets a continual want of the imagination. Either on that
ground or some other, Maggie took the arm. And they walked together
round the grassplot and under the drooping green of the laburnums, in
the same dim, dreamy state as they had been in a quarter of an hour
before; only that Stephen had had the look he longed for, without yet
perceiving in himself the symptoms of returning reasonableness, and
Maggie had darting thoughts across the dimness,—how came he to be
there? Why had she come out? Not a word was spoken. If it had been,
each would have been less intensely conscious of the other.
“Take care of this step,” said Stephen at last.
“Oh, I will go in now,” said Maggie, feeling that the step had come
like a rescue. “Good-evening.”
In an instant she had withdrawn her arm, and was running back to the
house. She did not reflect that this sudden action would only add to
the embarrassing recollections of the last half-hour. She had no
thought left for that. She only threw herself into the low arm-chair,
and burst into tears.
“Oh, Philip, Philip, I wish we were together again—so quietly—in the
Red Deeps.”
Stephen looked after her a moment, then went on to the boat, and was
soon landed at the wharf. He spent the evening in the billiard-room,
smoking one cigar after another, and losing “lives” at pool. But he
would not leave off. He was determined not to think,—not to admit any
more distinct remembrance than was urged upon him by the perpetual
presence of Maggie. He was looking at her, and she was on his arm.
But there came the necessity of walking home in the cool starlight, and
with it the necessity of cursing his own folly, and bitterly
determining that he would never trust himself alone with Maggie again.
It was all madness; he was in love, thoroughly attached to Lucy, and
engaged,—engaged as strongly as an honourable man need be. He wished he
had never seen this Maggie Tulliver, to be thrown into a fever by her
in this way; she would make a sweet, strange, troublesome, adorable
wife to some man or other, but he would never have chosen her himself.
Did she feel as he did? He hoped she did—not. He ought not to have
gone. He would master himself in future. He would make himself
disagreeable to her, quarrel with her perhaps. Quarrel with her? Was it
possible to quarrel with a creature who had such eyes,—defying and
deprecating, contradicting and clinging, imperious and beseeching,—full
of delicious opposites? To see such a creature subdued by love for one
would be a lot worth having—to another man.