Meanwhile, Maggie sat at her stall cold and trembling, with that
painful sensation in the eyes which comes from resolutely repressed
tears. Was her life to be always like this,—always bringing some new
source of inward strife? She heard confusedly the busy, indifferent
voices around her, and wished her mind could flow into that easy
babbling current. It was at this moment that Dr Kenn, who had quite
lately come into the hall, and was now walking down the middle with his
hands behind him, taking a general view, fixed his eyes on Maggie for
the first time, and was struck with the expression of pain on her
beautiful face. She was sitting quite still, for the stream of
customers had lessened at this late hour in the afternoon; the
gentlemen had chiefly chosen the middle of the day, and Maggie’s stall
was looking rather bare. This, with her absent, pained expression,
finished the contrast between her and her companions, who were all
bright, eager, and busy. He was strongly arrested. Her face had
naturally drawn his attention as a new and striking one at church, and
he had been introduced to her during a short call on business at Mr
Deane’s, but he had never spoken more than three words to her. He
walked toward her now, and Maggie, perceiving some one approaching,
roused herself to look up and be prepared to speak. She felt a
childlike, instinctive relief from the sense of uneasiness in this
exertion, when she saw it was Dr Kenn’s face that was looking at her;
that plain, middle-aged face, with a grave, penetrating kindness in it,
seeming to tell of a human being who had reached a firm, safe strand,
but was looking with helpful pity toward the strugglers still tossed by
the waves, had an effect on Maggie at this moment which was afterward
remembered by her as if it had been a promise. The middle-aged, who
have lived through their strongest emotions, but are yet in the time
when memory is still half passionate and not merely contemplative,
should surely be a sort of natural priesthood, whom life has
disciplined and consecrated to be the refuge and rescue of early
stumblers and victims of self-despair. Most of us, at some moment in
our young lives, would have welcomed a priest of that natural order in
any sort of canonicals or uncanonicals, but had to scramble upward into
all the difficulties of nineteen entirely without such aid, as Maggie
did.
“You find your office rather a fatiguing one, I fear, Miss Tulliver,”
said Dr Kenn.
“It is, rather,” said Maggie, simply, not being accustomed to simpler
amiable denials of obvious facts.
“But I can tell Mrs Kenn that you have disposed of her goods very
quickly,” he added; “she will be very much obliged to you.”
“Oh, I have done nothing; the gentlemen came very fast to buy the
dressing-gowns and embroidered waistcoats, but I think any of the other
ladies would have sold more; I didn’t know what to say about them.”