The Mill on the Floss — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mill on the Floss
John Stuart Mill · en
Stephen hardly knew what happened, or in what automatic way he got
through the duties of politeness in the interval, until he was free and
saw Maggie seated alone again, at the farther end of the room. He made
his way toward her round the couples that were forming for the waltz;
and when Maggie became conscious that she was the person he sought, she
felt, in spite of all the thoughts that had gone before, a glowing
gladness at heart. Her eyes and cheeks were still brightened with her
childlike enthusiasm in the dance; her whole frame was set to joy and
tenderness; even the coming pain could not seem bitter,—she was ready
to welcome it as a part of life, for life at this moment seemed a keen,
vibrating consciousness poised above pleasure or pain. This one, this
last night, she might expand unrestrainedly in the warmth of the
present, without those chill, eating thoughts of the past and the
future.
“They’re going to waltz again,” said Stephen, bending to speak to her,
with that glance and tone of subdued tenderness which young dreams
create to themselves in the summer woods when low, cooing voices fill
the air. Such glances and tones bring the breath of poetry with them
into a room that is half stifling with glaring gas and hard flirtation.
“They are going to waltz again. It is rather dizzy work to look on, and
the room is very warm; shall we walk about a little?”
He took her hand and placed it within his arm, and they walked on into
the sitting-room, where the tables were strewn with engravings for the
accommodation of visitors who would not want to look at them. But no
visitors were here at this moment. They passed on into the
conservatory.
“How strange and unreal the trees and flowers look with the lights
among them!” said Maggie, in a low voice. “They look as if they
belonged to an enchanted land, and would never fade away; I could fancy
they were all made of jewels.”
She was looking at the tier of geraniums as she spoke, and Stephen made
no answer; but he was looking at her; and does not a supreme poet blend
light and sound into one, calling darkness mute, and light eloquent?
Something strangely powerful there was in the light of Stephen’s long
gaze, for it made Maggie’s face turn toward it and look upward at it,
slowly, like a flower at the ascending brightness. And they walked
unsteadily on, without feeling that they were walking; without feeling
anything but that long, grave, mutual gaze which has the solemnity
belonging to all deep human passion. The hovering thought that they
must and would renounce each other made this moment of mute confession
more intense in its rapture.
But they had reached the end of the conservatory, and were obliged to
pause and turn. The change of movement brought a new consciousness to
Maggie; she blushed deeply, turned away her head, and drew her arm from
Stephen’s, going up to some flowers to smell them. Stephen stood
motionless, and still pale.