“Hold the horse, Willy,” said Mrs Moss to the twelve-year-old boy.
“No, thank you,” said Stephen, pulling at the horse’s impatiently
tossing head. “I must be going again immediately. I have a message to
deliver to you, Miss Tulliver, on private business. May I take the
liberty of asking you to walk a few yards with me?”
He had a half-jaded, half-irritated look, such as a man gets when he
has been dogged by some care or annoyance that makes his bed and his
dinner of little use to him. He spoke almost abruptly, as if his errand
were too pressing for him to trouble himself about what would be
thought by Mrs Moss of his visit and request. Good Mrs Moss, rather
nervous in the presence of this apparently haughty gentleman, was
inwardly wondering whether she would be doing right or wrong to invite
him again to leave his horse and walk in, when Maggie, feeling all the
embarrassment of the situation, and unable to say anything, put on her
bonnet, and turned to walk toward the gate.
Stephen turned too, and walked by her side, leading his horse.
Not a word was spoken till they were out in the lane, and had walked
four or five yards, when Maggie, who had been looking straight before
her all the while, turned again to walk back, saying, with haughty
resentment,—
“There is no need for me to go any farther. I don’t know whether you
consider it gentlemanly and delicate conduct to place me in a position
that forced me to come out with you, or whether you wished to insult me
still further by thrusting an interview upon me in this way.”
“Of course you are angry with me for coming,” said Stephen, bitterly.
“Of course it is of no consequence what a man has to suffer; it is only
your woman’s dignity that you care about.”
Maggie gave a slight start, such as might have come from the slightest
possible electric shock.
“As if it were not enough that I’m entangled in this way; that I’m mad
with love for you; that I resist the strongest passion a man can feel,
because I try to be true to other claims; but you must treat me as if I
were a coarse brute, who would willingly offend you. And when, if I had
my own choice, I should ask you to take my hand and my fortune and my
whole life, and do what you liked with them! I know I forgot myself. I
took an unwarrantable liberty. I hate myself for having done it. But I
repented immediately; I’ve been repenting ever since. You ought not to
think it unpardonable; a man who loves with his whole soul, as I do
you, is liable to be mastered by his feelings for a moment; but you
know—you must believe—that the worst pain I could have is to have
pained you; that I would give the world to recall the error.”
Maggie dared not speak, dared not turn her head. The strength that had
come from resentment was all gone, and her lips were quivering visibly.
She could not trust herself to utter the full forgiveness that rose in
answer to that confession.
They were come nearly in front of the gate again, and she paused,
trembling.