The Mysterious Mr. Miller — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mysterious Mr. Miller
John Stuart Mill · en
Ah! It was all over--the old story of the mad passion of a man for one
who proved--well, unworthy. Ah! how I had adored my Ella; how I
worshipped the very ground upon which she trod; how I would have
conquered the very world for her sake. Yes. I saw her now, so young in
her white muslin dress with her gold-brown hair falling upon her
shoulders, her laughing blue eyes, and the red rose in her breast as we
walked that June afternoon along those white English cliffs with the
blue Channel at our feet. That never-to-be-forgotten afternoon we
pledged our love, our hot lips met in their first fierce caress, our
hearts beat in unison. She was my all in all. For months we lived in a
world that was entirely our own--a bright rosy world of high ideals and
ineffable sweetness, for we loved, ay we loved in a manner, I believe,
that man and maiden never loved before. Even the remembrance of it now
was sweet and yet--ah! so intensely bitter.
But why need I trouble you with that incident of long ago? Suffice it
to say that my little Ella preferred money to a man's love, and she
became engaged to a stout, grey-haired fellow old enough to be her
father. Six months later she sickened, and then I heard that she was
dead. Ah! the blow was to me terrible! I became from that day a
changed man.
Since my little Ella preferred money to my love, I had again been
wandering hither and thither, a careless, aimless man, just as I had
wandered before meeting her. If I had had a profession it would have
been different, but my father committed the unpardonable folly of
leaving me comfortably off, therefore I simply developed into an idler,
preferring life at the gay continental resorts--now in Monte Carlo, now
in Paris, now in Rome, or elsewhere, just as my inclinations led me--to
the dull humdrum existence of chambers in London. Ella--Ella! I
thought of none save of my sweet dead love, now lost to me for ever.
Therefore, when Sammy hinted that I had become bewitched by Lucie Miller
I firmly and frankly denied such assertion. Four years is a breach in a
man's life, but even four years had not caused me to forget my first and
only true passion--the passion that had ended so tragically. Sometimes
life does not count by years. Some suffer a lifetime in a day, and so
grow old between the rising and the setting of the sun.
When Price had concluded the inventory of the dead man's papers, I
sorted out all those which had any official bearing. Perhaps I ought to
have communicated at once with the Italian Consulate, seeing that the
dead man was an Italian subject, but at the time it never occurred to
me. The papers which had so evidently been abstracted from the archives
of the Ministry of Justice in Rome I tied up in a bundle and placed them
apart. The others, with the exception of the yellow folio and the
letter of appeal, we replaced in the portmanteaux.