The Mysterious Mr. Miller — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mysterious Mr. Miller
John Stuart Mill · en
"You recollect little Ella Murray, who was, with her stepmother, up at
the Grainger's shoot two years ago? The poor little girl was engaged to
some City fellow, an entire outsider, I heard, but I hear she caught
typhoid at a hotel in Sheringham and died six months ago. A pity, isn't
it? I rather liked her--so did you, I remember."
I stood at the door of that filthy, log-built place with the letter in
my hand, gazing across the great snow-covered plain with its long row of
telegraph-wires and verst-posts stretching away from Pokrovskoi to the
grey horizon. My big bearded driver whispered to the post-house keeper,
for both saw that I had received bad news. The man in sheepskins who
kept the place went in without a word and returned with a glass of
vodka. I recognised his kindly thought, gulped down the spirit, and
mounting into the sledge drove on--on, whither I did not care. Ella--my
own dear Ella was dead!
All this came back vividly to me on that evening as I ate my dinner
alone in the little inn at Studland, and then in the golden sunset
strolled by the sea--that same wide, mysterious sea beside which I had
so long ago declared my love. She lived then, smiling, sighing, loving.
But now, alas! she was no more. Of her memory there only remained that
shadowy picture that I had seen in Miller's drawing-room, the portrait
of the dead that smiled upon me in such mocking happiness.
I threw myself upon a bank and watched the glorious crimson and purple
of the summer afterglow. Yes, the face of the world was for me now
changed. The past had been full enough of bitterness, what, I wondered,
did the future contain? Ah! if I could have but known at that moment!
Yet perhaps after all the Divine power is merciful in keeping from us
the happiness and tragedy that lie before.
Till the summer twilight darkened into night I sat therefore before the
sea, smoking and thinking. The dark vista of silent waters before me
harmonised with my thoughts. Mine was, alas! a wasted, useless life, I
had never known one moment's financial worry, and yet I had somehow
never found happiness. In my life where I might be, at home or abroad,
there was always something wanting--the love of a good woman.
Through the following day I idled, mostly in the Lion, for it was too
hot for walking. But at half-past two I sauntered to the station and,
unseen by Lucie, I saw her alight from the train from London, climb into
the smart dogcart that was awaiting her, and drive away in the direction
of the Manor.
Then when I returned and had my tea I remarked casually to the stout,
round-faced innkeeper:--
"I hear that Mr Miller is at the Manor House just now. I learnt so
yesterday."
"An' so did I," was his reply. "Dear me! wonders 'ull never cease.
Fancy Mr Miller coming back again! An' they say that Miss Lucie's
a-comin', too."
"Is she his daughter?" I inquired, as though in ignorance.