The Senator's Bride — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Senator's Bride
John Stuart Mill · en
She came forward very cordially, concealing any possible annoyance she
felt under an appearance of affection. She began to see that reproaches
and anger were not the way to bring this vacillating, reckless young
fellow to his senses.
"I trust you are feeling well after your fatigue of last evening," he
pleasantly observed, as they shook hands.
"No, I cannot say that I am. I have had no sleep, and felt worried and
anxious about you, my dear boy."
"I am sorry to have caused you any such annoyance," he answered,
repentantly, throwing himself wearily among the cushions of a luxurious
sofa--"very sorry, indeed, Aunt Conway. I am not worth being a source
of anxiety to any one."
The inflection of sadness and weariness in his tone touched her heart,
and swept away all lingering resentments. She looked at him as he lay
among the bright embroidered cushions, looking so handsome, yet so worn
and hopeless, and her womanly pity found vent in the simple words:
"My poor boy!"
"Don't pity me!" he answered, impatiently. "I am not deserving of pity,
and I don't want it. A man must sink very low, indeed, to become the
object of a woman's pity."
What a strange mood he was in! Accustomed to him as she was, she could
not fathom him this evening. She folded her hands in her lap and
looked at him wistfully. He grew restless under her gaze, shifting his
position so that the light should not strike on his features.
"You sent for me to give me a scolding, I suppose," he said, with a
short, dry laugh. "I am here to receive it."
"I did not," she answered. "I sent for you because this is your home,
and I want you to stay with me if you will. It is very lonely here with
no one of my kindred, Bruce, and I am getting to be quite an old woman
now. Why cannot you give me the solace of your company and affection
for my few remaining years?"
"My affection!"
No words can do justice to the reckless cynicism of his look and tone.
"Aunt Conway, I have very little affection to give any one. My heart
seems dead in my bosom. I came home, so full of noble resolves, so full
of hope, that my downfall has almost banished reason from its throne.
And as for my company, I fear I cannot even give you that. I owe it to
myself, to you, more than all to the wife of Senator Winans, to take
myself away from here, where no sight of me can recall my injustice to
her, and my crowning folly of last night."
"Bruce!"
"Well?"
"You shall not talk so--shall not leave me again. Let Mrs. Winans
alone. You have been in banishment three--nay, four years for her
already. You shall not go again. Norfolk is surely large enough for
you two to live in without crossing the path of each other. As for
what happened last night, it is rather mortifying, but it will soon be
forgotten. Stay with me, Bruce; there are plenty of beauties in Norfolk
who will soon teach you to forget Mrs. Winans."