The Senator's Bride — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Senator's Bride
John Stuart Mill · en
It was January, and the keen, cold sea-air swept over Norfolk,
freezing the snow as it fell, and chilling the very marrow of the
few pedestrians whom necessity compelled to be abroad that inclement
morning. The fast-falling flakes obscured everything from view, but
Mrs. Winans stood at a window of her elegant home gazing wistfully out
at the scene, though the richly appointed room, the fragrance of rare
exotic flowers that swung in baskets from the ceiling, the twitter of
two restless mockingbirds, all invited her gaze to linger within. But
the delicious warmth, the exquisite fragrance, the sweet bird-songs,
held no charm for the fair and forlorn young wife to-day. Now and then
she moved restlessly, disarranging the fleecy shawl of soft rose-color
that was thrown about her shoulders, and turning at last, she began to
walk swiftly across the floor, wringing her little white hands in a
sort of impotent pain.
"I can't bear this, and I won't!" stopping suddenly, and stamping a
tiny slippered foot on the velvet carpet that scarcely gave back the
sound. "I am to stay here because _he_ says so; because he chooses
to desert me. He wearies, perhaps, of his fetters. Why cannot I go
to Washington, if I choose, for a few days anyhow? I could go up to
the capitol vailed, and see _his_ face, hear his voice once more.
Ah, heaven! that I should have to steal near enough to _see him_! My
darling--beloved, though so cruel to me--how can I bear this and live?
I must, must go--must look in for the last time in life, on your dear,
too cruelly dear face!"
The violet eyes brightened strangely as the words fell from her lips
whose firm curves showed a fixed resolution.
"Yes," she whispered to herself, firmly, "I _will_ go!"
What was it that seemed to clutch at her heart like an icy hand,
freezing in her veins the warm blood that but a moment before had
bounded with passionate joy at thought of seeing her husband again?
What meant that chill presentiment of evil that seemed to whisper to
her soul, "You are wrong--do not go!"
"I _will_ go!" she said again, as if in defiance of that inward
monitor, and folding her arms across her breast, she resumed her slow
walk across the floor.
The pretty shawl fell from her shoulders, and lay, like a great
brilliant rose, unheeded on the floor; the long, sweeping train of her
blue cashmere morning-dress flowed over it as she walked, the white
ermine on her breast and at her throat trembling with the agitated
throbs of her heart. Her pure, pale cheek, her eyes darkening under
their black lashes, the white, innocent brow, the mobile lips, all
showed the trace of suffering bravely borne; but now the patient
spirit, tried too deeply, rose within her in desperate rebellion.