The Senator's Bride — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Senator's Bride
John Stuart Mill · en
A moment before her soul had been charged with desperate anger and
rebellion--now her face wore a soft, sad tenderness, her lifted eyes
the clear glory of a suppliant angel's.
"Oh, my husband," she breathed, in low, intense accents, "you have
scorned all words of mine, turned away from me with my defense
unheard--let the pure love of our innocent babe plead for its innocent
mother!"
It was like the low plaint for forgiveness from a wayward child that
comes sobbing home to its mother with its small fault to confess--and
she was so child-like, so very young, so very wretched. A sharp thrill
of agonized pity and self-reproach made his firm lip quiver as he
looked down at her, fiery love and hate struggling in his soul. A wild
impulse to clasp her to his bosom--to crush against his sore heart all
that pale yet glowing beauty, for one moment rushed over him, to be
sharply dispelled by the memory of his jealous vow, and he answered
not, but gazed on her for speechless moments, marking with eyes that
had hungered weary months for a sight of her, every separate charm that
distinguished this fatally fairest of women.
And she was looking very lovely to-night. Her entire absence of color,
while it robbed her of one charm, bestowed another. That glowing yet
perfect pallor of impassioned melancholy--that dark brilliance of
eyes that could, but would not weep--made her beauty more luring than
before; for a sorrowful face always appeals most directly to the heart.
She wore a dress he had always admired--a dinner-dress of pale,
creamy-hued silk, shading, as the lustrous folds fell together, into
pale wild-rose tints. A fragrant, half-blown tea-rose blossomed against
her whiter throat, among frills of snowy lace, and a slender cross of
pearls and diamonds depended from a slight golden chain that swung
almost to her slim, girlish waist; a bandeau of rare pearls clasped
on her brow with a diamond star held her golden hair in place, and
gave the last touch that was wanting to make her fairly royal in her
loveliness.
This was _his_ wife! In all his jealous love and hatred, that name
thrilled his soul like a pæan of triumph. All that beauty was his, his
own; but--the undying thought thrilled him like a sword thrust--it
might have been another's, had that other asked it first.
That other! he had seen her clinging to his arm that day, her magical
eyes uplifted to his in deep emotion. In the anger that rose at the
remembrance, he forgot the passionate pride and love that had shown on
him from the gallery that morning--forgot everything but that later
scene; and as it rushed vividly back to his mind, he put his hand to
his face and groaned aloud.
And still she stood mute, moveless, with that hunted look deepening on
her face, as no word or sign betrayed his answer.
"You will not even answer me!" she moaned, at last.