The Shadow of the Past — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Shadow of the Past
John Stuart Mill · en
Somehow he did not need any assurance in words that she would be on the
beach that evening. Instinctively he felt that the reason which had
been responsible for her reluctance to accede to his request no longer
existed. Whatever it had been she had ridded herself of it. He liked
to think that if she had felt a want of confidence in him, her feminine
intuition had made it possible to conquer this mistrust. It was the
first step towards that better understanding which he wished, he did not
know why, to establish between them.
CHAPTER FIVE.
Brenda Upton, avoiding the notice of the general company by leaving the
dinner table early that evening and slipping into the garden while most
of the guests remained seated, sauntered down the path to the gate,
thrilled with an agreeable sense of adventure that was only slightly
damped by the reflection that her behaviour in meeting this stranger
about whom she knew nothing was not in keeping with the traditions of
her class, was, in fact indiscreet, and might be regarded by the man
himself as evidence of an unconventionality of which he might seek to
take advantage.
She felt herself blushing at the thought; and pulled up at the gate, and
stood with it open and her hand upon the iron spikes, wavering, and
looking uncertainly upon the shadowy road. If she detected in his
manner any decrease of respect it would hurt as well as humiliate...
Perhaps after all it would be wiser not to go...
She glanced back over her shoulder towards the house. Two men made
their appearance on the stoep while she looked back. She had made one
of a set with them that day for tennis; the younger had suggested taking
her up the mountain later. It had seemed quite natural and in order to
consent to these things. Yet what did she know about these men more
than she knew of Guy Matheson? They chanced to be staying in the same
house; that was all: had the other been staying in the house she would
not have hesitated to walk with him on the beach. These distinctions
were rather absurd.
She let the gate go, and it clanged behind her as she emerged upon the
road, and, startled a little by the noise of the gate swinging to, stood
for a second and looked about her with an air of furtive watchfulness,
and the feeling that she was doing something just a little shameful,
something which later she might regret.