The Shadow of the Past — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Shadow of the Past
John Stuart Mill · en
"Well, of course, enjoyment is relative; but I imagine your idea of it
embraces only the highest quality. Am I right?"
"In a sense, yes--though possibly our ideas of what is truly enjoyable
differ substantially. For instance, beautiful scenery is to me entirely
satisfying; so is a beautiful flower."
"You will get that to-night," he said--"the scenery, I mean. But you
know the coast about here, I expect."
"Fairly well."
"We'll get on to the road," he said; "then we can stop the first tram
that overtakes us. It's too far to walk. We have to study the leg."
"Oh, that! I played tennis this afternoon," she said.
He showed his disapproval.
"If you do foolish things like that you deserve complications."
A tram came up almost immediately. They boarded it; and the girl,
feeling a little constrained and disinclined to talk, sat silent,
watching the spear of light along the horizon narrowing and paling as
the sea settled to a grey restfulness beneath the darkening sky. She
did not want Matheson to talk, and was glad when he fell into silence
too. She was conscious of the people on the tram to a quite
disproportionate degree. She had a persuasion that they knew she was
doing something unusual and rather indiscreet. The sense of back doors
and secrecy which had gripped her at first had hold of her again, and
spoilt things. It was with immeasurable relief that she got down when
they reached the terminus and started to walk.
"Let us go on and on," she said, "until there is no one. I want--
quiet."
"I know," he said on a note of understanding. "We'll find what we
want."
A swift and unaccountable feeling of intimacy sprang out of this mutual
desire for solitude, which she had expressed with unconscious audacity;
while he, in voicing his agreement, seemed to be conspiring with her to
get away together and be alone. This purpose had been in his mind from
the beginning.
"Tell me when you are tired," he said, as he helped her over a difficult
place.
But she did not tire easily. It was the difficulty of making their way
between and over the boulders of the rock-strewn beach that brought them
to a halt. They sat down on a small strip of sand with a rock at their
backs, and for a while remained silent, contemplating the scene in quiet
appreciation that defied expression and lent itself to the prevailing
peace. Out of the warm dusk a few stars gleamed faintly, and upon the
stirless air the contented murmuring of the sea as it drew away from the
sleeping shore hung reposefully, the wild slumber song which throughout
the ages the element which never rests urges upon the land.