The Shadow of the Past — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Shadow of the Past
John Stuart Mill · en
She did not explain that it was not hard words she feared, but the loss
of her post and character, two important matters to a girl dependent on
her own efforts.
"Please," she said, "let us be as quick as possible."
And so the return journey was made with none of the pleasant lingerings,
the pauses to admire beauties that sprang unexpectedly to the gaze, the
brief halts for agreeable wrangling or more intimate talk, the longer
pauses when they did not talk but stood side by side and gazed out to
sea in a sympathetic silence that needed no expression; these pleasures
had to be foregone in the effort to overtake time.
The necessity for haste irked Matheson; the girl at his side was
conscious of his irritation and distressed because of it.
"It is such a pity," she said, as they emerged upon the road, "to have
to spoil things."
He caught the note of apology in her voice, its half breathless appeal
to his forbearance, and his irritation vanished in a smiling
satisfaction.
"By Jove!" he cried, nearly breathless too. "I never believed you'd
keep the pace up. Let's put the brake on a bit. It can't make a
difference of more than five minutes either way now. I can't talk,
scampering along like this."
When they reached the road where she was staying, instead of parting at
the corner, he accompanied her, as he had on the first morning, to the
side gates. Before opening the gate he drew her into the shadow of the
oleanders against the fence, and, having looked cautiously up the road
and down, and ascertained that no one was within sight, he slipped his
hands behind her shoulders and held her for a moment and looked into her
eyes.
"It's good-bye this time," he said, and hung on a significant pause.
She remained very quiet and still under his hands, and made no response.
"You let me kiss you on the beach," he said, "but..." He bent his face
towards hers. "Won't you kiss me?" he asked.
For a moment she hesitated; then she lifted her face swiftly, and her
lips met his, shyly and a little shamefully, in a caress which brushed
his eager lips as lightly as one of the pink petals that fell, fragrant
and unheeded, about them. She broke away from him; and he turned
without a word and opened the gate and looked after her as she slipped
through and sped up the path, a slim white figure, with the moonlight
splashed upon her hair and face.
The night had not been without its perfect moments for him too.
CHAPTER EIGHT.