The Shadow of the Past — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Shadow of the Past
John Stuart Mill · en
Matheson's gaze travelled over the scene, travelled to the distant
hills, and rested there. A dark shadow like a black stain lay upon the
hillside, the curious effect of some unseen cloud. In his imagination
it seemed a significant, even a sinister, shadow. He watched it for a
time, but it moved so slowly that it did not appear to move at all, but
to be in reality a black stain on the face of the land. He removed his
gaze, and when later he looked again the shadow had passed.
"This is the real thing," he said--"the key to Africa. The Karroo is
the small sister of the Sahara."
Suddenly, moved by some unaccountable emotion, he turned towards her
swiftly.
"How can you endure living here?" he asked. "The loneliness...
Heavens! the loneliness... It suggests a world in the making. The
beauty! ... Yes, I acknowledge the beauty, the terrible beauty of it.
But--how often do you see a human face besides your own?"
She broke into a quiet laugh.
"Not often. But then, we are busy; we don't trouble about such things.
The blood of the old Voortrekkers runs in our veins. At least there is
freedom here."
"Gods! I should say so," he responded, and fell to contemplating once
more the sameness of those leagues upon leagues of interminable,
sun-scorched veld, with its dried-up water-courses, its gaping fissures,
and scrubby blackened bush, among which at long intervals pushed the
smooth green fingers of the milkbush, and the stunted, gnarled trunks of
the butterbloem, yellow as though smeared with sulphur, with bell-shaped
flowers blooming on long blood-red stems. Boulders of iron-stone broke
the sameness, and an occasional hill, rounded or peaked, not rising
gradually but seeming to have been dumped down there, or happened
otherwise by accident.
Honor's eyes rested dreamily upon the scene.
"You should see it after the rains fall," she said. "It is wonderful
then."
"It is wonderful now," he returned. "I have never beheld anything so
extraordinarily moving and impressive."
"But you don't like it," she said quickly.
"Oh, like! ... the term scarcely applies. I couldn't live here... I'd
be afraid to live here--not physically, of course. I mean it's so
immense, so unpeopled. The Karroo is jealous of life; it crushes it.
I'd go down under the spell of it. I can imagine a man falling into the
habit of talking aloud to himself here--for company."
"One need not live alone," she said.
"You love the solitudes," he said, looking at her wonderingly.
"Yes; I suppose I do. I love the veld... It is my blood--that intense
love of the land."