The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
"My advice will seem to you singular, Geoffrey,--but if you want it,
here it is. Give, as I said, the noble, and what the world would call
the quixotic part of your nature full way,--do not sacrifice your higher
sense of what is right and just for the sake of pandering to anyone's
power or influence,--and--say farewell to _me_! I am no use to you, save
to humour your varying fancies, and introduce you to those great,--or
small,--personages you wish to know for your own convenience or
advantage,--believe me, it would be much better for you and much more
consoling at the inevitable hour of death, if you were to let all this
false and frivolous nonsense go, and me with it! Leave society to its
own fool's whirligig of distracted follies,--put Royalty in its true
place, and show it that all its pomp, arrogance and glitter are
worthless, and itself a nothing, compared to the upright standing of a
brave soul in an honest man,--and, as Christ said to the rich
ruler--'Sell half that thou hast and give to the poor.'"
I was silent for a minute or so out of sheer surprise, while he watched
me earnestly, his face pale and expectant. A curious shock of something
like compunction startled my conscience, and for a brief space I was
moved to a vague regret,--regret that with all the enormous capability I
possessed of doing good to numbers of my fellow-creatures with the vast
wealth I owned, I had not attained to any higher moral attitude than
that represented by the frivolous folk who make up what is called the
'Upper Ten' of society. I took the same egotistical pleasure in myself
and my own doings as any of them,--and I was to the full as foolishly
conventional, smooth-tongued and hypocritical as they. They acted their
part and I acted mine,--none of us were ever our real selves for a
moment. In very truth, one of the reasons why 'fashionable' men and
women cannot bear to be alone is, that a solitude in which they are
compelled to look face to face upon their secret selves becomes
unbearable because of the burden they carry of concealed vice and
accusing shame. My emotion soon passed however, and slipping my arm
through Lucio's, I smiled, as I answered--
"Your advice, my dear fellow, would do credit to a Salvationist
preacher,--but it is quite valueless to me, because impossible to
follow. To say farewell for ever to you, in the first place, would be to
make myself guilty of the blackest ingratitude,--in the second instance,
society, with all its ridiculous humbug, is nevertheless necessary for
the amusement of myself and my future wife,--Royalty moreover, is
accustomed to be flattered, and we shall not be hurt by joining in the
general inane chorus;--thirdly, if I did as the visionary Jew
suggested----"
"What visionary Jew?" he asked, his eyes sparkling coldly.
"Why, Christ of course!" I rejoined lightly.
The shadow of a strange smile parted his lips.