The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
The very next night but one after Lucio's strange interview with Mavis
Clare, the thunderbolt destined to wreck my life and humiliate me to the
dust, fell with appalling suddenness. No warning given!--it came at a
moment when I had dared to deem myself happy. All that day,--the last
day I was ever to know of pride or self-gratulation,--I had enjoyed life
to the full; it was a day too in which Sibyl had seemed transformed to a
sweeter, gentler woman than I had hitherto known her,--when all her
attractions of beauty and manner were apparently put forth to captivate
and enthrall me as though she were yet to be wooed and won. Or,--did she
mean to bewitch and subjugate Lucio? Of this I never thought,--never
dreamed:--I only saw in my wife an enchantress of the most voluptuous
and delicate loveliness,--a woman whose very garments seemed to cling to
her tenderly as though proud of clothing so exquisite a form,--a
creature whose every glance was brilliant, whose every smile was a
ravishment,--and whose voice, attuned to the softest and most caressing
tones appeared in its every utterance to assure me of a deeper and more
lasting love than I had yet enjoyed. The hours flew by on golden
wings,--we all three,--Sibyl, myself and Lucio,--had attained, as I
imagined, to a perfect unity of friendship and mutual understanding,--we
had passed that last day together in the outlying woods of Willowsmere,
under a gorgeous canopy of autumn leaves, through which the sun shed
mellow beams of rose and gold,--we had had an _al fresco_ luncheon in
the open air,--Lucio had sung for us wild old ballads and love-madrigals
till the very foliage had seemed to tremble with joy at the sound of
such entrancing melody,--and not a cloud had marred the perfect peace
and pleasure of the time. Mavis Clare was not with us,--and I was glad.
Somehow I felt that of late she had been more or less a discordant
element whenever she had joined our party. I admired her,--in a sort of
fraternal half-patronizing way I even loved her,--nevertheless I was
conscious that her ways were not as our ways,--her thoughts not as our
thoughts. I placed the fault on her of course; I concluded that it was
because she had what I elected to call 'literary egoism,' instead of by
its rightful name, the spirit of honourable independence. I never
considered the inflated quality of my own egoism,--the poor pride of a
'cash and county' position, which is the pettiest sort of vain-glory
anyone can indulge in,--and after turning the matter over in my mind, I
decided that Mavis was a very charming young woman with great literary
gifts, and an amazing pride, which made it totally impossible for her to
associate with many 'great' people, so-called,--as she would never
descend to the necessary level of flunkeyish servility which they
expected, and which _I_ certainly demanded. I should almost have been
inclined to relegate her to 'Grub Street,' had not a faint sense of