The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
The smile that was half-cruel and half-sweet radiated in his eyes as he
spoke,--and again a singular revulsion of feeling against him moved me
to dislike and fear. And yet,--how fascinating was his company! I could
not but admit that the voyage with him to Alexandria on board 'The
Flame' was one of positive enchantment and luxury all the way. There was
nothing in a material sense left to wish for,--all that could appeal to
the intelligence or the imagination had been thought of on board this
wonderful yacht which sped like a fairy ship over the sea. Some of the
sailors were skilled musicians, and on tranquil nights or at sunset,
would bring stringed instruments and discourse to our ears the most
dulcet and ravishing melodies. Lucio himself too would often sing,--his
luscious voice resounding, as it seemed, over all the visible sea and
sky, with such passion as might have drawn an angel down to listen.
Gradually my mind became impregnated with these snatches of mournful,
fierce, or weird minor tunes,--and I began to suffer in silence from an
inexplicable depression and foreboding sense of misery, as well as from
another terrible feeling to which I could scarcely give a name,--a
dreadful _uncertainty of myself_, as of one lost in a wilderness and
about to die. I endured these fits of mental agony alone,--and in such
dreary burning moments, believed I was going mad. I grew more and more
sullen and taciturn, and when we at last arrived at Alexandria I was not
moved to any particular pleasure. The place was new to me, but I was not
conscious of novelty,--everything seemed flat, dull, and totally
uninteresting. A heavy almost lethargic stupor chained my wits, and when
we left the yacht in harbour and went on to Cairo, I was not sensible of
any personal enjoyment in the journey, or interest in what I saw. I was
only partially roused when we took possession of a luxurious dahabeah,
which, with a retinue of attendants, had been specially chartered for
us, and commenced our lotus-like voyage up the Nile. The reed-edged,
sluggish yellow river fascinated me,--I used to spend long hours
reclining at full length in a deck-chair, gazing at the flat shores, the
blown sand-heaps, the broken columns and mutilated temples of the dead
kingdoms of the past. One evening, thus musing, while the great golden
moon climbed languidly up into the sky to stare at the wrecks of earthly
ages I said--
"If one could only see these ancient cities as they once existed, what
strange revelations might be made! Our modern marvels of civilization
and progress might seem small trifles after all,--for I believe in our
days we are only re-discovering what the peoples of old time knew."
Lucio drew his cigar from his mouth and looked at it meditatively. Then
he glanced up at me with a half-smile--