Then, his utterly bewildered look, together with the whole topsy-turviness of things in my altered position, struck me so forcibly that I burst out laughing, wildly, and with a prolonged noise and violence that apparently alarmed him, for he began looking nervously about him in all directions as if meditating flight. I caught him by the arm. "Look here man," I said, trying to conquer my almost hysterical mirth--"I'm not mad--don't you think it,--I'm only a--millionaire!" And I began laughing again; the situation seemed to me so sublimely ridiculous. But the worthy publisher did not see it at all--and his features expressed so much genuine alarm that I made a further effort to control myself and succeeded. "I assure you on my word of honour I'm not joking--it's a fact. Last night I wanted a dinner, and you, like a good fellow, offered to give me one,--to-day I possess five millions of money! Don't stare so! don't have a fit of apoplexy! And as I have told you, I shall publish my book myself at my own expense, and it _shall_ succeed! Oh I'm in earnest, grim earnest, grim as death!--I've more than enough in my pocketbook to pay for its publication _now_!" I loosed my hold of him, and he fell back stupefied and confused. "God bless my soul!" he muttered feebly--"It's like a dream!--I was never more astonished in my life!" "Nor I!" I said, another temptation to laughter threatening my composure,--"But strange things happen in life, as in fiction. And that book which the builders--I mean the readers--rejected, shall be the headstone of the corner--or--the success of the season! What will you take to bring it out?" "Take? I? I bring it out!" "Yes, you--why not? If I offer you a chance to turn an honest penny shall your paid pack of 'readers' prevent your accepting it? Fie! you are not a slave,--this is a free country. I know the kind of people who 'read' for you,--the gaunt unlovable spinster of fifty,--the dyspeptic book-worm who is a 'literary failure' and can find nothing else to do but scrawl growling comments on the manuscript of promising work,--why in heaven's name should you rely on such incompetent opinion? I'll pay you for the publication of my book at as stiff a price as you choose and something over for good-will. And I guarantee you another thing--it shall not only make my name as an author, but yours as a publisher. I'll advertise royally, and I'll work the press. Everything in this world can be done for money ..." "Stop, stop,"--he interrupted.--"This is so sudden! You must let me think of it--you must give me time to consider----" "Take a day for your meditations then," I said--"But no longer. For if you don't say yes, I'll get another man, and he'll have the big pickings instead of you! Be wise in time, my friend!--good-day!" He ran after me. "Stay,--look here! You're so strange, so wild--so erratic you know! Your head seems quite turned!" "It is! The right way round this time!"