The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
The night was bitter cold. My hands were numbed, and I tried to warm
them at the oil-lamp my landlady was good enough to still allow me the
use of, in spite of delayed cash-payments. As I did so, I noticed three
letters on the table,--one in a long blue envelope suggestive of either
a summons or a returned manuscript,--one bearing the Melbourne postmark,
and the third a thick square missive coroneted in red and gold at the
back. I turned over all three indifferently, and selecting the one from
Australia, balanced it in my hand a moment before opening it. I knew
from whom it came, and idly wondered what news it brought me. Some
months previously I had written a detailed account of my increasing
debts and difficulties to an old college chum, who finding England too
narrow for his ambition had gone out to the wider New world on a
speculative quest of gold mining. He was getting on well, so I
understood, and had secured a fairly substantial position; and I had
therefore ventured to ask him point-blank for the loan of fifty pounds.
Here, no doubt, was his reply, and I hesitated before breaking the seal.
"Of course it will be a refusal," I said half-aloud,--"However kindly a
friend may otherwise be, he soon turns crusty if asked to lend money. He
will express many regrets, accuse trade and the general bad times and
hope I will soon 'tide over.' I know the sort of thing. Well,--after
all, why should I expect him to be different to other men? I've no claim
on him beyond the memory of a few sentimental arm-in-arm days at
Oxford."
A sigh escaped me in spite of myself, and a mist blurred my sight for
the moment. Again I saw the grey towers of peaceful Magdalen, and the
fair green trees shading the walks in and around the dear old University
town where we,--I and the man whose letter I now held in my
hand,--strolled about together as happy youths, fancying that we were
young geniuses born to regenerate the world. We were both fond of
classics,--we were brimful of Homer and the thoughts and maxims of all
the immortal Greeks and Latins,--and I verily believe, in those
imaginative days, we thought we had in us such stuff as heroes are made
of. But our entrance into the social arena soon robbed us of our sublime
conceit,--we were common working units, no more,--the grind and prose of
daily life put Homer into the background, and we soon discovered that
society was more interested in the latest unsavoury scandal than in the
tragedies of Sophocles or the wisdom of Plato. Well! it was no doubt
extremely foolish of us to dream that we might help to regenerate a
world in which both Plato and Christ appear to have failed,--yet the
most hardened cynic will scarcely deny that it is pleasant to look back
to the days of his youth if he can think that at least then, if only
once in his life, he had noble impulses.