The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
The point which troubled her most in regard to her new line of conduct
was the certainty that the man who had furnished her with the gratuitous
information concerning Hallam would conclude that the frozen alteration
in her demeanour was the result of his unsought confidence. Absurdly,
she wanted him to know that this breaking off of all intercourse was on
Hallam's initiative and not hers. It was a little thing to trouble her;
but it did trouble her exceedingly. She did not wish Sinclair to think
that because of what he had told her she was treating with contempt a
man for whom she felt no contempt in her heart--nothing but compassion.
In accordance with the arrangement that had been made the previous day
she accompanied Sinclair down the kloof; but her pleasure in the
excursion was not so keen as it had been in anticipation; she was
prejudiced slightly against her companion. She suggested going in a
party; but he refused to entertain the idea. He hated crowds, he said.
"I took a party down one day," he explained, "and they just fooled about
and dug up ferns. Desecration, I call it. The ferns were thrown away,
of course. That's what happens. People must pick things. I wonder
why? Sheer destructiveness. I like to see things growing."
He was helpful and agreeable during the walk; and his appreciation of
everything when they descended into the green twilight of the kloof
pleased the girl: she shared in his enthusiasm. She stood silent amid
the cool, green restfulness of this shadowed place, and viewed with
amazed eyes the wonder of its vegetation which grew in a tangled
luxuriance of varying shades of green; particularly she noticed the long
trailing moss which hung festooned from the trees over the stream; the
longer trails of clinging vine that wound itself about every plant and
tree and linked the whole together in an ordered and pleasing confusion.
Huge boulders, lichen covered, stood out of the water which purled
round them, and, with the brown trunks of the trees, struck the only
separate note of colour in a scene that was wholly green and lit with a
soft green light. The sun did not penetrate here through the massed
foliage of the locked boughs overhead. There was no view of the sky.
The stream wound in and out among the loose stones like a narrow
footpath cut through the dense vegetation. Ferns grew rankly beside the
water, in the water, in the crevices of the boulders, and in the rotting
trunks of trees. Maidenhair ferns were everywhere with long succulent
fronds, and the feathery leaves of the wild asparagus trailed gracefully
above the banks.
Esme gazed about her in silent wonder; and her companion stood beside
her and watched her pleasure in the scene.
"Makes one feel good, doesn't it?" he said.
She turned to him reluctantly. His voice had broken the quiet spell of
the place and caught her back from enchantment to everyday things.