The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
But Esme's mind at the moment was detached from her surroundings. She
was thinking very earnestly of the man who held aloof from friendship,
who seemed to regard with mistrust, almost with dislike, every one about
him. She had never before met any one who was at enmity with mankind.
The experience interested her immensely, troubled her. It occurred to
her as altogether sad and incomprehensible that a man should shun his
fellows and enclose himself in a stronghold of impenetrable reserve.
She longed to pierce the hard crust of his egotism, to draw him out of
himself. It was unthinkable that a man of intelligence should be
misanthropic from choice and without cause. Possibly at some time he
had suffered, been badly hurt by some one. Yet it was difficult to
believe that a man could vent on the world at large his sense of injury
for the fault of an individual.
She leaned down towards the water and looked into its still brown pools
and frowned thoughtfully. It vexed her that this man should have laid
such a grip on her imagination: his personality obtruded itself
persistently on her thoughts. The thing was beginning to worry her.
She turned her head to look for her companion. He was not in sight.
Abruptly a feeling of loneliness, a loneliness that was almost
terrifying, seized her. That Sinclair was somewhere near at hand she
knew, but the sense of being alone in that eerie spot frightened her;
the silence of the place frightened her. Yet when the silence snapped
suddenly, and her attention was caught by the sound of some one or
something breaking through the undergrowth and coming towards her, her
fear of these sounds was greater than her fear of the silence. She
wanted to move, wanted to cry out; and she could not move, could not
utter a word. She sat staring in the direction of the noise, staring,
and waiting for she knew not what.
The sounds were not made by Sinclair; they came from the opposite
direction to that which he had taken. Thoughts of wild beasts flashed
into her mind. She wondered what she would do if out of the green
tangle a tiger suddenly appeared. She believed that she would do
nothing, that she would remain there staring, rooted to the spot. The
crashing sounds grew louder, came nearer. She saw the boughs bend,
their massed foliage shake and quiver as if a wind swept through it. A
branch snapped loudly. Then out of the swaying greenery a man's arm
protruded, and the next moment Hallam emerged and stood still, looking
at her with a surprise greater than her own. Esme gave a little gulp of
relief and laughed weakly.
"Oh?" she said, and sat still clutching at the boulder with her hands.
"Did I frighten you?" he asked.
She nodded without speaking; and he advanced a little nearer to her, and
stood still again, leaning on his stick.
"I'm sorry. I had no idea any one was here. You aren't alone?"
"No. Mr Sinclair is somewhere--over there. I thought--I thought you
were a tiger."
Involuntarily he smiled.