The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
He grew to look forward to her companionship. His manner had lost its
rough unsociability; he talked to her readily. Occasionally he left the
seat, which had come by tacit recognition to be considered especially
his, for a chair beside hers on the stoep. His behaviour excited
considerable surprise and comment among the other guests; but to Esme it
appeared less remarkable than his former attitude of almost hostile
aloofness. She derived a quiet happiness from his society.
As she came to know him better her amazement at his weakness grew
enormously. That a man of such striking personality, possessed of
considerable will-power, should yield himself to the influence of a
sordid vice, be dominated by it, surprised her beyond words. It was the
one thing about him which she hated. It was ugly and inconsistent and
degrading. She never saw him drink; he took nothing but milk and soda
with his meeds. In the daytime he always appeared perfectly sober; but
at night, after dinner, it was his invariable custom to disappear, where
she did not know; but sometimes she heard his stumbling step going along
the stoep after every one else was in bed. She would lie awake and
listen for these sounds, but it was only occasionally she heard him go
unsteadily to his room. Then her heart would beat faster, and the tears
would come to her eyes, and always, she offered up a prayer for him in
the quiet darkness of her little room. Her pity for him and her liking
grew like a flower, unconscious of its expansion as it opens to the sun.
When first it occurred to Esme to use her influence to wean Hallam from
his nightly practice was uncertain; doubtless her desire had leaned that
way from the beginning of their acquaintance; but it was not until she
was well into the second week of her holiday that she summoned up
sufficient courage one evening while they sat at dinner to propose that
he should accompany her for a walk. It was too beautiful a night to
spend indoors, she urged.
The man hesitated. She believed that he was going to refuse. It was
easy to see that her suggestion was not acceptable to him. It took him
aback, and for quite an appreciable while he did not reply to her. Then
he said, somewhat brusquely:
"Have you not had walking enough for one day?"
"Come and sit with me on the stoep," she said, "if you do not care to
walk."
Some quality in her voice, something, too, in the expression of her
face, when he turned his face to look at her, arrested his attention.
He scrutinised her more closely, and into his eyes, as he watched her,
leapt a light of understanding.
"I never met any one quite so indefatigable as you," he said. "If you
really desire exercise, of course I'll accompany you. There will be a
moon to-night. She is young, but she will serve our purpose. Why do
you want to walk?"
The question was jerked out abruptly. There was an inflection of
curiosity in his tones. Esme answered quietly, without looking at him.