The Stronger Influence — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Stronger Influence
John Stuart Mill · en
On the last morning when they sat at breakfast, and the talk turned
naturally to the journey down the mountain, it came to him with
unpleasant clearness that he was going to miss her very much. He saw
the regret in her eyes at the thought of going away, and he knew that a
similar regret was in his heart. They had come to the parting of the
ways, and neither wished to part.
"Can't you stay a little longer?" he asked her. But she shook her head
and answered no.
"I hate these comings and goings," he said gruffly; "they make life
uncomfortable."
"I loved the coming," she replied softly; "but I hate going. I have
been happy here."
"I expect you are happy anywhere," he said. And she laughed, but she
did not answer him. "I shall miss our walks," he added.
"I shall miss them to," she replied. "I shall miss many things. One
day I shall come up here again."
"Will you?" He looked surprised. "I shall not do that after I go away.
To revisit a familiar spot is like walking among tombstones. Each
point recalls a memory, and memory belongs to the past."
"But when one's memories are pleasant," she argued, "it is good to
recall them."
"They come back to us with the dust on them," he insisted. "It is more
comfortable to live in the present. You'll forget the Zuurberg when you
are back in the town. You'll be engrossed with other matters. You'll
forget."
"Not one hour," she breathed softly. "I'll forget nothing. Will you?"
He laughed bitterly.
"Life is not so full of pleasant things that I can afford to bury in
oblivion the pleasantest that has happened to me," he said. "When you
drive down the mountain to-day, I will go with you and see you on your
way."
If anything could have given her pleasure at leaving it was this resolve
on Hallam's part to drive with her down the mountain road. His
accompanying her gave to the excursion an air of adventure and decreased
the sense of parting. It was not, she found when she came to say
goodbye to the little group of people assembled on the stoep to watch
the departure of the cart, these general leave-takings which were
distressing; nor did it concern her to turn her back on the hotel on the
veld; the real parting was to follow, but for the moment that did not
weigh with her. Her holiday was not yet at an end.
There were other passengers for the journey besides themselves. Hallam
waited until these had taken their seats in the back; then he helped the
girl up to the front seat next the driver, and, to the amazement of the
beholders, got up after her and sat down by her side. They concluded
that he was leaving also; it did not occur to any one to suppose that he
was going to see the girl off by the train and would return that
evening. An act of such supererogatory courtesy was not expected of
him.