_Mast._ Pray, Madam, moderate your Grief; you ought to thank Heaven 'tis not your Husband. _3 La._ Oh, what is Husband, Father, Mother, Son, to my dear, precious _Chloe_!----No, no, I cannot live without the Sight of his dear Image; and if you cannot make me the exact Effigies of this poor dead Creature, and cover it with his own dear Skin, so nicely that it cannot be discern'd, I must never hope to see one happy Day in Life. _Mast._ Well, Madam, be comforted, I will do it to your Satisfaction. [_Taking the Box._ _3 Lady._ Let me have one look more. Poor Creature! O cruel Fate, that Dogs are born to die. [Exit _weeping_. _Gent._ What a Scene is here! Are not the real and unavoidable Evils of Life sufficient, that People thus create themselves imaginary Woes? _Mast._ These, Sir, are the Griefs of those that have no other. Did they once truly feel the real Miseries of Life, ten thousand Dogs might die without a Tear. _Enter a second Gentleman._ _2 Gent._ I want an Ivory Pocket-book. _Mast._ Do you please to have it with Directions, or without? _2 Gent._ Directions! what, how to use it? _Mast._ Yes, Sir. _2 Gent._ I should think, every Man's own Business his best Direction. _Mast._ It may so. Yet there are some general Rules, which it equally behoves every Man to be acquainted with. As for Instance: Always to make a Memorandum of the Benefits you receive from others. Always to set down the Faults or Failings, which from Time to Time you discover in yourself. And, if you remark any Thing that is ridiculous or faulty in others, let it not be with an ill-natur'd Design to hurt or expose them, at any Time, but with a _Nota bene_, that it is only for a Caution to your self, not to be guilty of the like. With a great many other Rules of such a Nature as makes one of my Pocket-books both a useful Monitor and a very entertaining Companion. _2 Gent._ And pray, what's the Price of one of them? _Mast._ The Price is a Guinea, Sir. _2 Gent._ That's very dear. But, as it's a Curiosity----[_Pays for it, and_ Exit.] _Enter a_ Beau. _Beau._ Pray, Sir, let me see some of your handsomest Snuff-boxes. _Mast._ Here's a plain Gold one, Sir, a very neat Box; here's a Gold enamell'd; here's a Silver one neatly carv'd and gilt; here's a curious Shell, Sir, set in Gold. _Beau._ Dam your Shells; there's not one of them fit for a Gentleman to put his Fingers into. I want one with some pretty Device on the Inside of the Lid; something that may serve to joke upon, or help one to an Occasion to be witty, that is, smutty, now and then. _Mast._ And are witty and smutty then synonimous Terms?