The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
She took the three-o’clock train back to the city. At nine she sat at
the round table for dinner in the Café André. Nearly the same crowd was
there.
“Where have you been to-day?” asked Mrs. Pothunter. “I ’phoned to you
at twelve.”
“I have been away in Bohemia,” answered Mary, with a mystic smile.
There! Mary has given it away. She has spoiled my climax. For I was to
have told you that Bohemia is nothing more than the little country in
which you do not live. If you try to obtain citizenship in it, at once
the court and retinue pack the royal archives and treasure and move
away beyond the hills. It is a hillside that you turn your head to peer
at from the windows of the Through Express.
At exactly half past eleven Kappelman, deceived by a new softness and
slowness of riposte and parry in Mary Adrian, tried to kiss her.
Instantly she slapped his face with such strength and cold fury that he
shrank down, sobered, with the flaming red print of a hand across his
leering features. And all sounds ceased, as when the shadows of great
wings come upon a flock of chattering sparrows. One had broken the
paramount law of sham-Bohemia—the law of “_Laisser faire_.” The shock
came not from the blow delivered, but from the blow received. With the
effect of a schoolmaster entering the play-room of his pupils was that
blow administered. Women pulled down their sleeves and laid prim hands
against their ruffled side locks. Men looked at their watches. There
was nothing of the effect of a brawl about it; it was purely the still
panic produced by the sound of the ax of the fly cop, Conscience
hammering at the gambling-house doors of the Heart.
With their punctilious putting on of cloaks, with their exaggerated
pretense of not having seen or heard, with their stammering exchange of
unaccustomed formalities, with their false show of a light-hearted exit
I must take leave of my Bohemian party. Mary has robbed me of my
climax; and she may go.
But I am not defeated. Somewhere there exists a great vault miles broad
and miles long—more capacious than the champagne caves of France. In
that vault are stored the anticlimaxes that should have been tagged to
all the stories that have been told in the world. I shall cheat that
vault of one deposit.
Minnie Brown, with her aunt, came from Crocusville down to the city to
see the sights. And because she had escorted me to fishless trout
streams and exhibited to me open-plumbed waterfalls and broken my
camera while I Julyed in her village, I must escort her to the hives
containing the synthetic clover honey of town.
Especially did the custom-made Bohemia charm her. The spaghetti wound
its tendrils about her heart; the free red wine drowned her belief in
the existence of commercialism in the world; she was dared and
enchanted by the rugose wit that can be churned out of California
claret.