The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
“Now, now, now!” said Morley. “Such a big man you are to be doing
errands for mamma. I must go along with my little man to see that the
cars don’t run over him. And on the way we’ll have some chocolates. Or
would he rather have lemon drops?”
Morley entered the drug store leading the child by the hand. He
presented the prescription that had been wrapped around the money.
On his face was a smile, predatory, parental, politic, profound.
“Aqua pura, one pint,” said he to the druggist. “Sodium chloride, ten
grains. Fiat solution. And don’t try to skin me, because I know all
about the number of gallons of H2O in the Croton reservoir, and I
always use the other ingredient on my potatoes.”
“Fifteen cents,” said the druggist, with a wink after he had compounded
the order. “I see you understand pharmacy. A dollar is the regular
price.”
“To gulls,” said Morley, smilingly.
He settled the wrapped bottle carefully in the child’s arms and
escorted him to the corner. In his own pocket he dropped the 85 cents
accruing to him by virtue of his chemical knowledge.
“Look out for the cars, sonny,” he said, cheerfully, to his small
victim.
Two street cars suddenly swooped in opposite directions upon the
youngster. Morley dashed between them and pinned the infantile
messenger by the neck, holding him in safety. Then from the corner of
his street he sent him on his way, swindled, happy, and sticky with
vile, cheap candy from the Italian’s fruit stand.
Morley went to a restaurant and ordered a sirloin and a pint of
inexpensive Chateau Breuille. He laughed noiselessly, but so genuinely
that the waiter ventured to premise that good news had come his way.
“Why, no,” said Morley, who seldom held conversation with any one. “It
is not that. It is something else that amuses me. Do you know what
three divisions of people are easiest to over-reach in transactions of
all kinds?”
“Sure,” said the waiter, calculating the size of the tip promised by
the careful knot of Morley’s tie; “there’s the buyers from the dry
goods stores in the South during August, and honeymooners from Staten
Island, and”—
“Wrong!” said Morley, chuckling happily. “The answer is just—men, women
and children. The world—well, say New York and as far as summer
boarders can swim out from Long Island—is full of greenhorns. Two
minutes longer on the broiler would have made this steak fit to be
eaten by a gentleman, Francois.”
“If yez t’inks it’s on de bum,” said the waiter, “Oi’ll”—
Morley lifted his hand in protest—slightly martyred protest.
“It will do,” he said, magnanimously. “And now, green Chartreuse,
frappe and a demi-tasse.”