The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
The captain was no longer a captain. One of those sudden moral
cataclysms that sometimes sweep the city had hurled him from a high and
profitable position in the Police Department, ripping off his badge and
buttons and washing into the hands of his lawyers the solid pieces of
real estate that his frugality had enabled him to accumulate. The
passing of the flood left him low and dry. One month after his
dishabilitation a saloon-keeper plucked him by the neck from his
free-lunch counter as a tabby plucks a strange kitten from her nest,
and cast him asphaltward. This seems low enough. But after that he
acquired a pair of cloth top, button Congress gaiters and wrote
complaining letters to the newspapers. And then he fought the attendant
at the Municipal Lodging House who tried to give him a bath. When
Murray first saw him he was holding the hand of an Italian woman who
sold apples and garlic on Essex street, and quoting the words of a song
book ballad.
Murray’s fall had been more Luciferian, if less spectacular. All the
pretty, tiny little kickshaws of Gotham had once been his. The
megaphone man roars out at you to observe the house of his uncle on a
grand and revered avenue. But there had been an awful row about
something, and the prince had been escorted to the door by the butler,
which, in said avenue, is equivalent to the impact of the avuncular
shoe. A weak Prince Hal, without inheritance or sword, he drifted
downward to meet his humorless Falstaff, and to pick the crusts of the
streets with him.
One evening they sat on a bench in a little downtown park. The great
bulk of the Captain, which starvation seemed to increase—drawing irony
instead of pity to his petitions for aid—was heaped against the arm of
the bench in a shapeless mass. His red face, spotted by tufts of
vermilion, week-old whiskers and topped by a sagging white straw hat,
looked, in the gloom, like one of those structures that you may observe
in a dark Third avenue window, challenging your imagination to say
whether it be something recent in the way of ladies’ hats or a
strawberry shortcake. A tight-drawn belt—last relic of his official
spruceness—made a deep furrow in his circumference. The Captain’s shoes
were buttonless. In a smothered bass he cursed his star of ill-luck.
Murray, at his side, was shrunk into his dingy and ragged suit of blue
serge. His hat was pulled low; he sat quiet and a little indistinct,
like some ghost that had been dispossessed.
“I’m hungry,” growled the Captain—“by the top sirloin of the Bull of
Bashan, I’m starving to death. Right now I could eat a Bowery
restaurant clear through to the stovepipe in the alley. Can’t you think
of nothing, Murray? You sit there with your shoulders scrunched up,
giving an imitation of Reginald Vanderbilt driving his coach—what good
are them airs doing you now? Think of some place we can get something
to chew.”