The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
Grainger escaped the meringue. As he waited his spirits sank still
lower. The atmosphere of the room was as vapid as a zephyr wandering
over a Vesuvian lava-bed. Relics of some feast lay about the room,
scattered in places where even a prowling cat would have been surprised
to find them. A straggling cluster of deep red roses in a marmalade jar
bowed their heads over tobacco ashes and unwashed goblets. A
chafing-dish stood on the piano; a leaf of sheet music supported a
stack of sandwiches in a chair.
Mary came in, dressed and radiant. Her gown was of that thin, black
fabric whose name through the change of a single vowel seems to summon
visions ranging between the extremes of man’s experience. Spelled with
an “ê” it belongs to Gallic witchery and diaphanous dreams; with an “a”
it drapes lamentation and woe.
That evening they went to the Café André. And, as people would confide
to you in a whisper that André’s was the only truly Bohemian restaurant
in town, it may be well to follow them.
André began his professional career as a waiter in a Bowery ten-cent
eating-house. Had you seen him there you would have called him tough—to
yourself. Not aloud, for he would have “soaked” you as quickly as he
would have soaked his thumb in your coffee. He saved money and started
a basement _table d’hôte_ in Eighth (or Ninth) Street. One afternoon
André drank too much absinthe. He announced to his startled family that
he was the Grand Llama of Thibet, therefore requiring an empty audience
hall in which to be worshiped. He moved all the tables and chairs from
the restaurant into the back yard, wrapped a red table-cloth around
himself, and sat on a step-ladder for a throne. When the diners began
to arrive, madame, in a flurry of despair, laid cloths and ushered
them, trembling, outside. Between the tables clothes-lines were
stretched, bearing the family wash. A party of Bohemia hunters greeted
the artistic innovation with shrieks and acclamations of delight. That
week’s washing was not taken in for two years. When André came to his
senses he had the menu printed on stiffly starched cuffs, and served
the ices in little wooden tubs. Next he took down his sign and darkened
the front of the house. When you went there to dine you fumbled for an
electric button and pressed it. A lookout slid open a panel in the
door, looked at you suspiciously, and asked if you were acquainted with
Senator Herodotus Q. McMilligan, of the Chickasaw Nation. If you were,
you were admitted and allowed to dine. If you were not, you were
admitted and allowed to dine. There you have one of the abiding
principles of Bohemia. When André had accumulated $20,000 he moved
up-town, near Broadway, in the fierce light that beats upon the
thrown-down. There we find him and leave him, with customers in pearls
and automobile veils, striving to catch his excellently graduated nod
of recognition.