The Trimmed Lamp, and Other Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
There is a large round table in the northeast corner of André’s at
which six can sit. To this table Grainger and Mary Adrian made their
way. Kappelman and Reeves were already there. And Miss Tooker, who
designed the May cover for the _Ladies’ Notathome Magazine_. And Mrs.
Pothunter, who never drank anything but black and white highballs,
being in mourning for her husband, who—oh, I’ve forgotten what he
did—died, like as not.
Spaghetti-weary reader, wouldst take one penny-in-the-slot peep into
the fair land of Bohemia? Then look; and when you think you have seen
it you have not. And it is neither thimbleriggery nor astigmatism.
The walls of the Café André were covered with original sketches by the
artists who furnished much of the color and sound of the place. Fair
woman furnished the theme for the bulk of the drawings. When you say
“sirens and siphons” you come near to estimating the alliterative
atmosphere of André’s.
First, I want you to meet my friend, Miss Adrian. Miss Tooker and Mrs.
Pothunter you already know. While she tucks in the fingers of her elbow
gloves you shall have her daguerreotype. So faint and uncertain shall
the portrait be:
Age, somewhere between twenty-seven and highneck evening dresses.
Camaraderie in large bunches—whatever the fearful word may mean.
Habitat—anywhere from Seattle to Tierra del Fuego. Temperament
uncharted—she let Reeves squeeze her hand after he recited one of his
poems; but she counted the change after sending him out with a dollar
to buy some pickled pig’s feet. Deportment 75 out of a possible 100.
Morals 100.
Mary was one of the princesses of Bohemia. In the first place, it was a
royal and a daring thing to have been named Mary. There are twenty
Fifines and Heloises to one Mary in the Country of Elusion.
Now her gloves are tucked in. Miss Tooker has assumed a June poster
pose; Mrs. Pothunter has bitten her lips to make the red show; Reeves
has several times felt his coat to make sure that his latest poem is in
the pocket. (It had been neatly typewritten; but he has copied it on
the backs of letters with a pencil.) Kappelman is underhandedly
watching the clock. It is ten minutes to nine. When the hour comes it
is to remind him of a story. Synopsis: A French girl says to her
suitor: “Did you ask my father for my hand at nine o’clock this
morning, as you said you would?” “I did not,” he replies. “At nine
o’clock I was fighting a duel with swords in the Bois de Boulogne.”
“Coward!” she hisses.
The dinner was ordered. You know how the Bohemian feast of reason keeps
up with the courses. Humor with the oysters; wit with the soup;
repartee with the entrée; brag with the roast; knocks for Whistler and
Kipling with the salad; songs with the coffee; the slapsticks with the
cordials.