The Triumph of Jill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Triumph of Jill
John Stuart Mill · en
"I behaved foolishly last Tuesday;" she remarked at length, speaking
with her back impolitely turned towards him, and a mixture of shame and
triumph on the face which he could not see. "I lost my temper which was
ill bred; and," turning round and laughingly openly, "I'm afraid that
I'm not so sorry as I ought to be. Don't," putting up her hand as he
essayed to speak, "go on making excuses--your very apologies but condemn
me further. It was most ungracious on my part after Miss Bolton's
condescension in coming; yet how was I to know that she was so
supersensitive?"
"I ought to have warned you," he answered. "But never mind now; there
is very little harm done, only I am afraid that you have lost a pupil."
"And isn't that highly deplorable," cried Jill, "considering how few I
have?"
But St. John was not to be drawn into any expression of sympathy;
personally he felt no inconvenience, and he shrewdly suspected that Miss
Erskine was not particularly distressed herself. He sat down and work
commenced as usual.
St. John was getting on more quickly than his teacher had imagined that
he would. He was not likely to ever make an artist but still he
progressed very fairly in amateur fashion. His eye unfortunately was
not true; he could never see when a thing was out of drawing, but he was
always ready to listen to advice, and correct his work under
supervision. His greatest fault was a desire to get on too quickly; and
Jill had to assert her authority on more than one occasion to restrain
him, and keep his ambition in check.
One day, several weeks after the Bolton episode, he suggested that it
was time he commenced painting; he was tired of black and white. He was
then drawing from the bust of Clytie, and had only just begun working
from the cast. Jill was not in a good temper that morning--things had
not been prospering with her lately--and so St. John's ill-timed
suggestion met with scant consideration.
"You want to run before you can walk," she returned with ill-humoured
sarcasm. "Some people are like that. I knew of a girl once who was
learning riding and insisted on cantering the second time she went out.
The result was not altogether satisfactory; for it left her sitting in
the middle of the road. Last week I yielded to your insane desire to
attempt Clytie; the attempt is a failure; and so you want to begin
painting."
"Well," he answered not exactly pleased by her manner of refusing his
petition. "I certainly should like to vary the monotony. I don't see
why I shouldn't paint one day a week and draw on the other."