The Triumph of Jill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Triumph of Jill
John Stuart Mill · en
Just about this time Jill had a regular run of ill luck. In the first
instance the man who always bought her canvasses became bankrupt and was
sold up, and Jill, who didn't know anything about sending in claims, and
had no one to advise her; for she never consulted St. John on purely
personal matters for fear of his finding out how very poor she really
was, lost the price of three canvasses which he had taken of her and
never paid for, besides having nowhere now to dispose of her work. He
had paid her poorly but it had been a certain market, and although she
tramped London over, as it seemed to her weary feet, she could find no
one to give her an order, or even a promise of work in the future; she
had plenty of time for dreaming now. Besides this, the rent of her
rooms was due again, and it was absolutely expedient that she should
have new boots. And then came the climax--at least it seemed the climax
to Jill's overwrought and tired brain, but it was not so; as a matter of
fact that fell later when she had not conceived it possible that greater
trouble could fall to human lot. She became ill again--off her head, as
Isobel informed St. John when she received him one Tuesday with the
intimation that he could not go up as usual. The heat of summer,
together with the continual atmosphere of white lead and turpentine had
been too much for Jill, and she had collapsed, and, becoming rambling
and incoherent in her talk the landlady had taken things into her own
hands and sent for the doctor, when it was only rest and a little
nursing and relief from mental worry that the invalid stood in need of,
and not physic, a doctor's bill, and impossible advice. The doctor
came. She was thoroughly run down, he said; and he ordered her things
that she could not buy, and change of air which she could not afford
either, though she told him that she would see about it for fear he
should think that she was hoping he would not charge her for attendance,
which was very foolish and proud, just as foolish as her refusal to sell
St. John the picture.
When she was well enough to get out again she took a holiday and spent
it at Hampden Court, going by steam-boat and returning in the evening by
train after a long, solitary, but on the whole fairly enjoyable day.
That was all the change of air she took, and greatly it benefitted her,
far more than anyone would imagine so short a time could do. On her way
home when she was crossing the road where Bedford Square merges into
Gower Street a private hansom passed her with St. John and his cousin in
it both in evening dress. Jill had fancied that Miss Bolton was out of
town, and the sight of her quite upset all the pleasure she had derived
from her jaunt.