The Triumph of Jill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Triumph of Jill
John Stuart Mill · en
"Excuse me," he said, "but you mistake me altogether. I know my son
thoroughly, and though I have never had the privilege of meeting you
before to-day, yet once seeing is quite sufficient to disabuse my mind
of any prejudice I may have entertained towards you. In speaking of
indiscretion I was thinking entirely of outside criticism."
Jill smiled faintly, contemptuously, incredulously. She had him at a
disadvantage, and the knowledge gave her a gratifying sense of
superiority.
"I am too insignificant a unit in this little world to excite criticism,
captious or the reverse," she answered. "I thought, myself, at first
that it wouldn't do, but have since been humbled into learning that my
actions pass unheeded by the outside world. A great many actions of
bigger people than myself pass unnoticed if they were only big-minded
enough to realise it. Humanity does not spend its time solely in
watching the doings of its neighbour; that is left for the little minds
who have nothing more important to occupy themselves with. But you
didn't come here to warn me of my indiscretion. Would you mind telling
me what the `unpleasant errand' is?"
"No," he answered bluntly coming to the point. "I was merely anxious
not to be too abrupt. I want to induce my son to give up coming here,
and I can't persuade him. Will you?"
He did not look at her, but drawing a cheque-book from his pocket with
unnecessary display placed it upon the table. Jill watched him
comprehensively, and the blood seemed to freeze in her veins as she did
so.
"Why," she asked, and could have bitten out her tongue because the word
choked in her throat, "why should he give up coming?"
"This is absurd," exclaimed Mr St. John. "Let us give over fencing and
understand one another. My son is infatuated--he generally is, by the
way, it is a failing of his,"--Jill felt this to be untrue even while he
said it, but she made no sign. "You, of course, are quite aware of his
infatuation? But, Miss Erskine, he is a beggar; he has nothing in the
world save what I allow him."
"How degrading!" cried Jill. "I should have credited him with
possessing more manhood than that. Everyone should be independent who
can be."
He smiled and tapped the cheque-book with his fingers. He fancied that
she would be sensible.
"It would not be wise to marry a pauper, would it?" he queried. "For a
man who marries against his relative's wishes when he looks to them for
every penny, would be a pauper, without doubt."
"No," Jill answered with unnatural quietness, "it would not be wise. I
don't think anyone would contradict that."
"You would not yourself, for instance?"
"Most certainly I should not."
"Now we begin to understand one another," he resumed almost cheerfully.
He had greatly feared a scene; but she was so absolutely unemotional
that he felt relieved.