The Triumph of Jill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Triumph of Jill
John Stuart Mill · en
"Very well," he said in a tone of forced calm which contrasted ill with
the pained expression of his face, "I believe you. And under the
circumstances am quite of your opinion that further acquaintance had
better cease. It was a mistake my coming at all both for you and for
me. Good morning, Miss Erskine, and good-bye."
He paused, thinking that perhaps her mood had been prompted by caprice,
and that she might relent yet and call him back; but she made no
movement at all beyond a bend of the head, and her voice was no kinder
when she wished him farewell. Then he went, striding down the stairs
and out into the street, resentful, angry, heartsore, little guessing
how very much greater was the unhappiness he had left behind him where
Jill, alone now in every sense of the word, stood battling with her
grief and her emotion, and trying to face the difficulties which seemed
crowding upon her on every side. She got out her satin work when he had
gone and started upon the sachets with eager haste, glad of the
miserable order now; for it kept her employed, and diverted the train of
her thoughts. And all that day she sat working, working feverishly,
dining, when the light failed so that she could see to paint no longer,
off a crust of bread, the best her larder had to offer--indeed the only
thing.
The next morning by the early post she received a letter from St. John.
Her hand trembled so violently as she took it up that she could hardly
unfasten the envelope, but, finally tearing it open she withdrew the
contents, a sheet of notepaper with St. John's compliments inscribed
thereon, and enclosed within a cheque for the fee paid in full up to the
end of the present quarter. The cheque fell to the ground unheeded but
the sheet of paper Jill spread out on the table before her and then sat
staring at it as though she could not take it in. It was the first
brief missive of the sort that she had received; its very brevity
chilled her. "With Mr St. John's compliments." So he had accepted his
dismissal? It was better so, of course; but it was very hard to bear
all the same.
CHAPTER EIGHT.