The Triumph of Jill — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Triumph of Jill
John Stuart Mill · en
"It--it isn't that," she tried to explain. "I can quite believe that
you are _very_ respectable but--Oh! can't you understand?--I wanted to
teach children?"
Apparently he did not consider that sufficient reason to preclude her
from teaching him also; he did not seem to think that there might be
other reasons which had led up to this--to him--very trivial one.
"I don't know any more than a child would," he replied, "and I should
pay three times the fee--double for being an adult, treble for being a
male adult which some ladies seem to consider an additional
inconvenience."
"Excuse me," put in Jill severely, "if I undertook to teach you my
charge would be the same for you as for any other pupil, but I am afraid
I must decline."
"Very well," he answered huffily, "the decision of course rests with
you, but I won't attempt to disguise the fact that I am very
disappointed."
He walked towards the door, but stopped, and came back a little way.
"If it is anything to do with--that is I mean to say--I will pay in
advance," he blurted out.
The girl bit her lip.
"It has nothing to do with that," she cried sharply. "Oh, dear me, how
very dense you are! Don't you see that it wouldn't do for me to teach
you?"
He stared at her.
"Good heavens!" he exclaimed, "you don't mean to say that you're afraid
of Mrs Grundy? She would never get up those stairs I can assure you,
and if she did why we'd stick her on the model throne and paint her."
Jill laughed in spite of herself. It sounded very ridiculous put into
plain English, and yet after all he had pretty well hit upon the truth.
"It isn't only Mrs Grundy," she replied, "but I--I don't feel equal to
undertaking you. I think it would be better if you went to someone--
older."
"When I read your advertisement," he said stiffly, "I imagined that you
would be older. But I don't see that it much matters. I want to study
art. You wish to teach it and have no other pupils. Why not try me for
a quarter and see how it works?"
It was a great temptation, Jill still hesitated. Absurd as she felt it
to be she was unmistakably nervous at the thought of teaching this big
young man, while he, noting her indecision, stood waiting anxiously for
her to speak, too engrossed with his project to consider her at all; she
merely represented a means to an end, the object through which he might
accomplish the only real ambition of his life.
"I don't know," she said slowly after a long pause, "I think perhaps I
might try as you suggest, for the quarter but--I wish you had been a
girl."
"Thank you," he answered. "I am sorry that I cannot agree with you.
Shall I stay this morning?"