Three millions! : $b or, The way of the world — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Three millions! : $b or, The way of the world
John Stuart Mill · en
Mary walked to the landing-place, and sat down upon a rock by the
shore. The present and future were full of darkness and she knew not
whither to turn. She was a lone wanderer in the desert, and there was
no friendly oasis to welcome her. By turns she wept and prayed, but
there seemed to be no healing balm in her tears or her prayers. She
knew not where to go. She had friends, as the world calls them,--many
friends, perhaps,--but none to whom she felt like appealing in her
present desperate condition. Her pride revolted at the thought of
becoming a supplicant before those with whom she had walked as an
equal, though there were hundreds in yonder slumbering villages, who
would gladly have taken her to their hearts, and poured out of their
plenty into her lap. There were hundreds who would joyfully have given
her a home, and protection from her wrathful parent, beneath their
roofs. Mary was too proud to ask favors of this kind. She was capable
and self-reliant, and loathed the thought of dependence.
The gloomy hours wore slowly away, and the daylight gleamed in the
east. She had determined to take the morning train for a large town,
a few miles distant from Poppleton, where she hoped to procure a
situation as a teacher, or at least as an employee in one of the
factories.
As soon as it was light enough, she got into the boat, to row across
the channel to the village. She intended to carry her bundle to the
house of a poor woman, whom she had served in the past, and having
purchased a travelling-bag, pack her things in readiness for the
journey. She could then take the stage, and depart respectably, without
exciting idle remarks among her acquaintances, if she met any of them.
Her pride was not conquered even by her intense anguish.
She had not rowed half way across the channel which divides The Great
Bell from the main land, before she heard the voice of Mr. Buckstone.
He was an early riser during his vacation, if at no other time, and
had taken a boat for his morning exercise. Mary trembled when she
recognized him. Many times had she thought of him during her lonely
vigil on the shore. He had been a kind and tender friend, and he
knew more of what happened at her father’s house than any other
person outside of the family. He had not spoken to her so gently and
so lovingly without producing in her heart an impression--just the
impression he intended to produce. But, in spite of the interest, and
even affection, with which she regarded the artist, she would have
preferred to leave Poppleton without his knowledge.