Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Viola's vanity : $b or, A bitter expiation
John Stuart Mill · en
She did not spare herself; she did not gloss over anything; she accused
herself as if she had been some one else; and then she waited for his
decision, after saying, piteously:
“Perhaps you will think that I fully deserve my punishment.”
She did not know herself how piteously she awaited his reply, crushed
and humiliated by the experiences of the night, and longing for
something to rehabilitate herself in her own esteem. Her whole heart
seemed to hang tremblingly on his next words.
Would he still proclaim himself her friend when he knew what a wicked
little flirt she had been, and how cruelly she had been punished?
But Rolfe Maxwell had heard of her coquetries long before, and had
always made excuses for her in his heart.
It seemed to him that one so rarely gifted by nature and fortune could
not be entirely to blame. Royally dowered with beauty and fascination,
she commanded love without seeking it; and perhaps, in her youth and
innocence, she did not indeed value the emotion at its true worth.
Had she not confessed to him her dismay at her father’s lecture, and
the changed life she had led afterward, save for her cowardice in
confessing the truth to Florian?
So he replied, warmly:
“Your punishment was greater than the offense warranted. I should say
that Professor Desha and Florian Gay were both lacking in some of the
elements of true manliness, or they never could have served you so ill
a turn. I should say that your father would be perfectly right to call
Desha to account.”
“Oh, no, no, never! Papa must never know how I have been treated. But I
am so glad you take my part, that you think they were to blame!” cried
poor Viola, gratefully.
“Yes, I take your part. You have been shamefully treated; but I should
say that in my opinion you are well rid of both of the poltroons. Such
love as theirs was not worth having,” the young man cried, indignantly;
adding: “But I have said I would be your friend. Trust me now, and tell
me what I can do to help you. Perhaps if I should go and reason the
case with Philip Desha, he might stoop from his haughty pedestal and
return to his allegiance.”
“Do you think I would permit you? Never!” her form trembling with
indignation.
“Perhaps, then, you would not mind my speaking to Florian Gay?”
“Sue to those monsters? Never! As for Florian, I did not want him
anyway. It was only--only--to save myself from tomorrow’s sensation,
and to punish Desha,” she half-sobbed, growing hysterical in the
realization of the impending morrow. “Oh, why did I not die?” she
moaned, wildly.
“My dear young lady, would you sacrifice yourself for such ignoble
wretches?” he remonstrated, gravely.
“I have told you I can not face tomorrow!” she groaned.
“You shall!” He caught his breath quickly. “I have a plan--rather a
desperate one--to help you out of your difficulty, if you can consider
it.”
“Oh!” she cried, her heart bounding out of the gulf of black despair up
into the light of hope.