It required a trained intelligence such as his to appreciate so delicate
a train of thought as this. He felt that it would have been more
flattering to her if he had seemed more surprised when she had spoken.
It would have allowed her to feel that his confidence in her fidelity
was absolute and therefore--the logic was his--she would have felt
flattered. When a young woman has secretly promised eventually to marry,
and in the meantime to love, a certain man, and when in the cool of the
evening of a delightful day and a tranquillising dinner she confesses
to him that the keeping of the “meantime” clause in her compact subjects
her to a great strain, the man should of course seem greatly surprised.
If he were to seem otherwise, he would in effect be saying to the girl,
“I took it for granted that the strain upon you would be great.”
He could not accuse himself of any deficiency of cleverness in his
attitude towards her after she had spoken that surprising sentence. He
knew that there was a proper amount of feeling in the way he breathed
a sibilant “H’sh--h’sh!” while turning wondering eyes upon her--their
expression of surprise being not without a certain element of pain.
“H’sh--for heaven’s sake--my dearest! Oh, Josephine! But... ah, you
cannot mean that--that...”
He reflected now that those jerked-out words--those unfinished sentences
could scarcely have been surpassed in effect. He hoped that she felt
that the hand which he had then laid upon hers, was trembling. He had
meant that it should tremble. And yet now when he came to think over it,
he was not quite sure that his hand should have trembled. It was just
possible that a girl after speaking as she had spoken, would have been
more impressed by a thoroughly firm hand touching hers--a hand whose
firmness would have given her confidence, compelling her to realise the
confidence which he had--well, in himself.
(He was certainly a man of exquisite judgment in subtle shades of
expression.)
She had, however, not withdrawn her hand for some seconds--several
seconds: the dusk had cast its friendly and fascinating shade over them:
the seeming incaution of his attitude was purely imaginary. No one could
see the direction taken by his hand or hers.
“I tell you, it is the truth,” she had said, withdrawing her hand. “It
is a great strain that you have put upon me, Ernest. I sometimes feel
like a criminal--exactly like a criminal--in the presence of my father
and my mother.”
“Ah, I thought that you saw with my eyes,” he said, and the pained
expression in his voice increased. “I thought that we agreed that it
would be madness--your father--he would never give his consent--you
yourself said so.”
“I said so--I admit; but--please don’t think that I want to--to--break
it off--oh, no; I only mean to say that--that--well, I have said all
that I mean to say--it is a great strain upon me and I sometimes feel
very miserable about it. You can understand that it should be so,
Ernest.”