PHAEDRUS: Listen. You know how matters stand with me; and how, as I
conceive, this affair may be arranged for the advantage of both of us.
And I maintain that I ought not to fail in my suit, because I am not
your lover: for lovers repent of the kindnesses which they have shown
when their passion ceases, but to the non-lovers who are free and not
under any compulsion, no time of repentance ever comes; for they confer
their benefits according to the measure of their ability, in the way
which is most conducive to their own interest. Then again, lovers
consider how by reason of their love they have neglected their own
concerns and rendered service to others: and when to these benefits
conferred they add on the troubles which they have endured, they think
that they have long ago made to the beloved a very ample return. But the
non-lover has no such tormenting recollections; he has never neglected
his affairs or quarrelled with his relations; he has no troubles to
add up or excuses to invent; and being well rid of all these evils, why
should he not freely do what will gratify the beloved? If you say that
the lover is more to be esteemed, because his love is thought to be
greater; for he is willing to say and do what is hateful to other men,
in order to please his beloved;--that, if true, is only a proof that he
will prefer any future love to his present, and will injure his old
love at the pleasure of the new. And how, in a matter of such infinite
importance, can a man be right in trusting himself to one who is
afflicted with a malady which no experienced person would attempt to
cure, for the patient himself admits that he is not in his right mind,
and acknowledges that he is wrong in his mind, but says that he is
unable to control himself? And if he came to his right mind, would he
ever imagine that the desires were good which he conceived when in his
wrong mind? Once more, there are many more non-lovers than lovers; and
if you choose the best of the lovers, you will not have many to choose
from; but if from the non-lovers, the choice will be larger, and you
will be far more likely to find among them a person who is worthy of
your friendship. If public opinion be your dread, and you would avoid
reproach, in all probability the lover, who is always thinking that
other men are as emulous of him as he is of them, will boast to some
one of his successes, and make a show of them openly in the pride of his
heart;--he wants others to know that his labour has not been lost; but
the non-lover is more his own master, and is desirous of solid good, and
not of the opinion of mankind. Again, the lover may be generally noted
or seen following the beloved (this is his regular occupation), and
whenever they are observed to exchange two words they are supposed to
meet about some affair of love either past or in contemplation; but when
non-lovers meet, no one asks the reason why, because people know that