The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 01 — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 01
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
Plutarch presently became my greatest favorite. The satisfaction I
derived from repeated readings I gave this author, extinguished my
passion for romances, and I shortly preferred Agesilaus, Brutus, and
Aristides, to Orondates, Artemenes, and Juba. These interesting
studies, seconded by the conversations they frequently occasioned with my
father, produced that republican spirit and love of liberty, that haughty
and invincible turn of mind, which rendered me impatient of restraint or
servitude, and became the torment of my life, as I continually found
myself in situations incompatible with these sentiments. Incessantly
occupied with Rome and Athens, conversing, if I may so express myself
with their illustrious heroes; born the citizen of a republic, of a
father whose ruling passion was a love of his country, I was fired with
these examples; could fancy myself a Greek or Roman, and readily give
into the character of the personage whose life I read; transported by the
recital of any extraordinary instance of fortitude or intrepidity,
animation flashed from my eyes, and gave my voice additional strength and
energy. One day, at table, while relating the fortitude of Scoevola,
they were terrified at seeing me start from my seat and hold my hand over
a hot chafing--dish, to represent more forcibly the action of that
determined Roman.
My brother, who was seven years older than myself, was brought up to my
father's profession. The extraordinary affection they lavished on me
might be the reason he was too much neglected: this certainly was a fault
which cannot be justified. His education and morals suffered by this
neglect, and he acquired the habits of a libertine before he arrived at
an age to be really one. My father tried what effect placing him with a
master would produce, but he still persisted in the same ill conduct.
Though I saw him so seldom that it could hardly be said we were
acquainted. I loved him tenderly, and believe he had as strong an
affection for me as a youth of his dissipated turn of mind could be
supposed capable of. One day, I remember, when my father was correcting
him severely, I threw myself between them, embracing my brother, whom I
covered with my body, receiving the strokes designed for him; I persisted
so obstinately in my protection, that either softened by my cries and
tears, or fearing to hurt me most, his anger subsided, and he pardoned
his fault. In the end, my brother's conduct became so bad that he
suddenly disappeared, and we learned some time after that he was in
Germany, but he never wrote to us, and from that day we heard no news of
him: thus I became an only son.